Rabbi Doniel Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – ASHAR
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor
STAM
TORAH
PARSHIOS
ACHAREI MOS/KEDOSHIM 5769
“GOING TO THE IN-LAWS”
In sixteenth-century Cracow
Late one Friday morning, a nobleman entered
Isserl’s store to make a substantial purchase. He spent a great deal of time
picking out various amounts of many of the most expensive materials in the
store. By the time he had chosen his fabric it was already noon , and the fabric still had to be measured
and cut.
Isserl gently explained to his customer
that he did not operate his store past noon
on Friday, because he had to prepare for Shabbos. He promised to open his store
early on Sunday morning so that they could complete the purchase.
The nobleman became incensed. He was not used
to waiting for anything and he surely did not want to wait until Sunday to get
his order. He insisted that the order be completed immediately. He reasoned
that it would only take another fifteen minutes and Isserl would be netting a
tremendous profit on the deal. The nobleman threatened that if he did not get
his order right away he would take his business elsewhere.
Isserl humbly apologized again and insisted
that he was not going to change his mind. “In all my years of business I have
never deviated from my practice of not working after noon on Friday. I cannot compromise on that
now.”
The nobleman stormed out of the store in a
huff. The deal was off.
Sometime later Isserl and his wife were
granted a son, whom they named Moshe. It was revealed to Isserl that Moshe
would become a great Torah leader in the merit of the sacrifice he made for the
honor of Shabbos. Indeed, that son became the legendary Rema[1],
the foremost Ashkenazic halachic authority for the last five hundred years.
“G-d spoke to Moshe saying: Speak to the
entire assembly of the Children of Israel and say to them: You shall be holy,
for I am holy, Hashem, your G-d. Every man shall revere his mother and his father
and you shall safeguard My Shabbos – I am Hashem, your G-d.”[2]
The Torah juxtaposes the commandment that one
reveres his parents and Shabbos observance. Rashi explains that it is to teach
us that although one is obligated to honor and respect his parents that
obligation does not supersede one’s obligation to observe Shabbos. If one’s
parents instruct him to violate Shabbos he may not obey.
The Chofetz Chaim offers an
alternative, extraordinary explanation: Shabbos is referred to as a bride[3],
and the Jewish people as its groom. If a groom adequately honors and cares for his
bride then his father-in-law will take care of him and provide for his needs. Seeing
that his daughter is well cared for fills him with joy and he will want to shower
his son-in-law and daughter with gifts.
So too, when we honor and glorify Shabbos -
the daughter of G-d as it were - He showers us with blessing, as the verse
says, “And G-d blessed the seventh day and He sanctified it.” The pasuk
juxtaposes fearing one’s parents with the mitzvah of Shabbos to symbolize the
idea that in a sense G-d is the ‘father of the Shabbos Queen’ and if we care
for His daughter He will provide for us.
The gemara[4]
states, “Anyone who delights in the Shabbos is given an inheritance without
boundaries… Anyone who delights in the Shabbos is granted all the requests of
his heart.” All of the delicacies and customary foods that we eat on Shabbos are
not extraneous, but are vital components of our Shabbos observance.
What is the meaning behind the concept of
Oneg Shabbos (enjoying and ‘taking delight’ in the Shabbos). If Shabbos is such
a holy day, why don’t we spend the day in meditation and prayer, as we do on
Yom Kippur? Isn’t indulgence in food and physical enjoyment antithetical to spirituality
and holiness?
Rabbi Shimshon Pinkus zt’l[5]
explains that there is a fundamental difference between the holiness of Shabbos
and the holiness of Yom Kippur. In parshas Achrei Mos the Torah details the
lengthy service that the Kohain Gadol performed throughout Yom Kippur. At the
conclusion of its narrative the Torah concludes, “For on this day He will
forgive you, to purify you, from all of your sins, before G-d you shall be
purified.” Yom Kippur is a gift that G-d granted us as a means for us to purify
our tainted souls so that we can achieve atonement. In order to express our
desire to reconnect with G-d and right the wrongs we have committed we
temporarily forfeit our earthly needs to symbolize our true desire.
Shabbos on the other hand, is not our
day. Shabbos is G-d’s day![6]
Rabbi Pinkus explains with a parable:
Imagine if you are invited to the home of a great and holy individual such as
the Chasam Sofer[7].
The Chasam Sofer loves you dearly and is extremely excited to see you. As you
walk into his home his face lights up and you can tell from his countenance
that he has been waiting for your arrival. He immediately invites you into his
dining room and insists on serving you lunch.
He walks into his kitchen and
announces to his wife, “Did you hear? He has finally arrived. Please prepare a
delicious banquet consisting of all of your fanciest dishes in his honor.”
When the meal was ready the Chasam
Sofer personally sets it down in front of you, and invites you to enjoy.
At that moment, would anyone be foolish
enough to reply, “I’m sorry Rabbi, but I am working on myself spiritually and I
have been employing self-flagellation to train myself to stay away from earthly
pleasures. I appreciate all of the Rabbi’s efforts but all I want is some
crusty bread and a half cup of water.” Certainly not! Although it is
unquestionably valuable for a person to train himself not to indulge too much
in physical pleasures, in the home of a distinguished person one adheres to his
instruction. If he invites me to enjoy what he has provided, I cannot have the
audacity to refuse, all my noble intentions notwithstanding.
Rabbi Pinkus explains that on Yom Kippur we
are involved with ourselves, i.e. our sins and our atonement. But on Shabbos we
are “not in the picture”! Wherever we are in the world - even at our own tables
- on Shabbos we are literally guests sitting at the table of G-d. [The Sages[8]
explain that all of one’s expenditures in honor of Shabbos are not detracted
from the total amount of money that he is destined to receive that year.] G-d
is our host and He instructs us to indulge and enjoy, and therefore we must
oblige. When one’s enjoyment is divinely commanded every bit of that enjoyment
infuses him with holiness.
Every groom knows that the firs time he
spends a Shabbos at the home of his future in-laws he must make a good
impression. He wants his future in-laws to believe that he can and will provide
properly for their daughter. If he can do so he knows his in-laws will do their
best to help him as well.
With the combined ideas of the Chofetz
Chaim and Rabbi Pinkus we can say that on Shabbos we go to the in-laws.
Once there, nothing gives the “Father-in-law” more pleasure and enjoyment than
to see his son-in-law groom doting over his daughter.
The Chofetz Chaim related a parable to
explain the folly of those who desecrate Shabbos in order to pursue their
livelihood: There was once a farmer who did a lot of business with a certain
merchant. The merchant would periodically collect bushels and pay off his bill
at the end of six months. In order to keep an exact count of the bushels he had
taken, the merchant would throw a penny into a bowl for every bushel he took. After
six months the merchant and farmer would count the coins in the heaping bowl and
the merchant would pay one hundred dollars for every penny in the bowl.
As the weeks wore on and the bowl began to
fill, the silly farmer was entranced by the shiny coins. Finally, he could not
restrain himself any longer. When the merchant wasn’t looking he grabbed a
handful of pennies and stuffed them into his pockets. The farmer was delighted
when he realized that the merchant had not noticed. He gleefully and smugly patted
his pocket, not realizing the thousands of dollars he had cheated himself out
of.
So too, explained the Chofetz Chaim,
Shabbos is “מקור הברכה- the source and generator of all
blessing.” If one desecrates the Shabbos so that he can earn a few more coins,
he is unwittingly cheating himself out of far greater blessing.
One important way in which the groom
exhibits his love and devotion to his bride is that he demonstrates his desire
to be with her as much as possible. In regard to Shabbos we express that love
by preparing for and anticipating the arrival of Shabbos by entering into the
holy day respectfully with serenity.
On
the Shabbos of Succos a special hoshana prayer, which enumerates many of the
laws and customs regarding Shabbos, is recited[9].
One of those stanzas in that prayer reads, “ הושענא יושבת וממתנת עד כלות השבת-
Please save (in the merit of) those who sit and wait until the conclusion of
Shabbos.” These words are very perplexing. Is it a merit for one to anticipate
and wait for the conclusion of Shabbos?
The Satmar Rebbe, Reb Yoel Teitelbaum
zt’l, explained that the prayer is not referring to one who excitedly waits for
Shabbos to end. In fact, it means the opposite. It refers to one who sits and
waits - with patience and tranquility – even as Shabbos is ending. In other
words, he is not counting down the minutes for Shabbos to end while thinking
about his plans for the night. Instead he is taking advantage of every moment
of the waning holy day. Even as the sun is setting after an entire day of
Shabbos he is still quaint and calm enjoying its final moments. In the merit of
those who love Shabbos so passionately that they wish to extend it as long as
possible we beg G-d to grant salvation.
In one of the beautiful Shabbos
zemiros (songs), we sing, “כי אשמרה שבת קל ישמרני – When I guard the
Shabbos, G-d will guard me.” It has often been said that in exile “Shabbos has
done more to preserve the Jew than the Jew has done to persevere the Shabbos.”
Rabbi Pinkus explains that “Shabbos” is a pseudonym for the Divine Presence.
The holiness of
Shabbos is an ethereal extension of the holiness of G-d, as it were, much as a
daughter is an extension of her parents. The Torah reminds us that if we take
care of the daughter, her Father will take good care of us.
“Every man shall revere his mother and his
father… safeguard My Shabbos”
“An inheritance without boundaries”
[1] An acronym
for “Rabbi Moshe Isserl’s” 1520-1572, i.e. Rabbi Moshe the son of Isser
[2] Vayikra 19:1-3
[3] As we state
in the Shabbos prayers, “ - לכה דודי לקראת כלה פני שבת נקבלה Come
my beloved to greet the bride the face of Shabbos we will accept.”
[4] Shabbos 118a
[5] Sichos,
Shabbos Kodesh, “V’karasa l’Shabbos Oneg”
[6] To buttress
this point - Our sages explain that whereas the holiness of all holidays
(including Yom Kippur) is based on the ruling of the Jewish courts (who have
jurisdiction over the Jewish calendar which in turn is the determining factor
of when holidays occur), the holiness of Shabbos is completely Divinely
ordained. Its holiness which commences at sunset each Friday is fixed and set.
[It is for this reason that in the blessing recited at the conclusion of the
recitation of Kiddush on Shabbos “Yisroel” is not mentioned.]
[7] Rabbi Moshe
Sofer (1762-1839) was one of the foremost Torah leaders in his generation. One
who cannot relate to this parable can substitute the Chasam Sofer for any great
revered leader held in extremely high esteem.
[8] Gemara Rosh
Hashana 16a
[9]
During each day of Succos, the prevalent custom is to circle the bimah, holding
the Four Species, reciting a passionate prayer that commences with the word, “"הושענא (please save). During the Shabbos of
Succos, although the Four Species are not taken, a special hoshana prayer is
still recited.