STAM
TORAH
PARSHAS
VAYERA 5779
“TRUE
ACCOMPLISHMENT”[1]
Dedicated in loving memory of my father’s mother, my dear Savta,
Mrs. Minnie Staum, whose yahrtzeit is this Friday, 17 Cheshvan.
It was an
ordinary day in Judge Mindy Glazer’s Miami-Dade courtroom when
forty-nine-year-old Arthur Booth appeared before her for his bond hearing. He
had been arrested the previous day for breaking into a home, stealing a car,
and running from police. He caused two accidents before crashing the stolen car
and being arrested.
What
happened next was incredible. As she shuffled papers on her desk, Judge Glazer
turned to Booth and said, “I have a question for you — did you go to
Nautilus (middle school)?” Booth looked up at her and immediately recognized
her. He then proceeded to cover his face with both hands and, overwhelmed with
emotion, cried “Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!” seven times.
The judge
then said to him, “I’m sorry to see you here. I always wondered what happened
to you.“ She turned to the court and continued, “This was the nicest kid in
middle school. He was the best kid. I used to play football with him, all the
kids, and look what has happened.”
Glazer set
his bond at $43,000 and closed the hearing by saying, “Good luck to you sir,”
she said. “I hope you are able to come out of this okay and just lead a lawful
life.”
Booth’s
cousin was interviewed by the news right after the hearing and was asked why
she thought he was so emotional. She answered, “He probably was thinking, ‘Wow,
I had those opportunities and those abilities. That should have been me up
there… He was overwhelmed with emotion because he was filled with remorse and
the thoughts of what could have been.”[2]
On Rosh
Hashanah morning 2015 (5776), Rabbi Efrem Goldberg[3] recounted
the above story and added: ““Ha’yom haras olam, ha’yom ya’amid ba’mishpat kol
yetzurei olamim… Today is the birthday of the world. Today all
creatures of the world stand in judgment.” This morning, like Booth, we appear
before the Judge who recognizes us, who knows us since our childhood and
beyond. Like Booth, as we appear before the Judge of Judges, we are overwhelmed
with a sense of what could have been.
“This
morning, as we confront the reality of the many mistakes we have made, the poor
judgment we have shown, the self-destructive behavior we have engaged in, the
opportunities we have wasted and the potential we have not realized, we are
filled with a profound sense of remorse, an intense regret, and an acute
awareness of who we could be.
“Leo
Tolstoy, the famous Russian writer, once said, “Everybody wants to change this
world; nobody wants to change themselves.” I disagree. I think we do want to
change. We want to become the people we were meant to be, the people we are
capable of being. Many of just don’t know how.”
There is an
extraordinary theme that appears in many of the events of parshas Vayera. It
seems that almost everything Avrohom set out to accomplish was either an abject
failure and disappointment, or a missed opportunity.
At the
beginning of the parsha, the Torah describes in great detail the tremendous
effort that Avrohom invested in preparing a delectable and expensive meal for
three bedouins. He involved his wife and son, and all of them were hurrying to
ensure that every nuance was being catered to.
The truth was
that they were angels who didn’t need the food at all. Rashi explains that when
the Torah says “they ate”[4] it
means that it only seemed like they ate, because angels don’t eat physical food[5].
When Hashem
revealed to Avrohom that Sodom and its neighboring cities were to be destroyed
because of their extreme evil, Avrohom began to pray for the cities to be
spared. The Torah details the entire lengthy conversation with Avrohom
imploring Hashem not to destroy the city in the merit of fifty righteous people
– ten in each city. He then begs for them to be spared if there are only
forty-five, or thirty, or twenty, or even ten righteous people. Each time
Avrohom asks Hashem to not be angry with his request.
In the end
however, the cities were overturned and destroyed[6].
At the end of
the parsha, the Torah relates the events of the akeidah – the binding of
Yitzchak. Hashem commanded Avrohom to bring Yitzchak as an Olah sacrifice,
which Avrohom did with alacrity and complete dedication. At the last moment,
before Avrohom lowered the blade onto the neck of Yitzchak, Hashem called out
to him to stay his hand.
Shemen HaTov[7]
notes that in all three of these events, Avrohom’s actions seem to have been
meaningless. He ended up preparing an incredible meal… for angels, he failed in
his bid to save Sodom, and he wasn’t able to complete his mission of offering
his son as a sacrifice to G-d.
We can add that
Avrohom surely invested great energy into being mechanech Yishmael. When
Avrohom was preparing the meal for the angels the pasuk says “And to the cattle
Avrohom ran, and he took young cattle, soft and good, and he gave it to the
youth, and he hurried to do it.” Rashi explains that the youth was Yishmael,
and Avrohom was trying to train him to do mitzvos.
Later in the
parsha Avrohom is compelled to banish Yishmael from his home, because of his
negative influence upon Yitzchok.
Here too,
something Avrohom had invested greatly in seems to be a complete failure.
Yet, not only
do we not view Avrohom as a failure, we view him as of the most faithful and
accomplished devotees to G-d who ever lived. It is a stark reminder that life
is not about accomplishment. In this world we are charged to put our best foot
forward, to seek to make the right choices, to try to serve Hashem faithfully,
and to enhance the lives of those around us.
Our task is to
further the glory of G-d in this world through our actions and words. That is
all we can do, and all we can be held accountable for. Whether our actions will
bear fruit and whether we will actually accomplish is wholly in G-d’s hands.
We learn laws
of tefilla from Avrohom’s prayer to Hashem for the people of Sodom[8]. Even
if those prayers may not have accomplished their directly desired result, there
is no such thing as a wasted prayer. Who knows what incredible benefits
resulted from those prayers at a different juncture?!
Our
responsibility is to do our best. Beyond that, results are in the Hands of
Hashem.
“It looked like
they ate”
“To educate him
in mitzvos”
Rabbi Dani Staum,
LMSW
Rebbe/Guidance
Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr
Naftoli- New Windsor
[1] The following
is the lecture I was privileged to deliver in Kehillat New Hempstead, Shabbos
Kodesh Parshas Vayera 5778.
[2]
Postscript: On April 19, 2016, Booth was released
from jail after 10 months. Judge Glazer stood by waiting - along with his
family to greet Booth as he walked out of jail.
"Take care of your family. Try to get a job. Stay
clean," Glazer told Booth. "You're going to do something good for
somebody else." Booth replied, “You better believe it! You better believe
it!”
[3] Rabbi of Boca
Raton Synagogue in Boca Raton, Florida
[4] Bereishis 18:8
[5] Rashi notes
that the angel’s actions teach us a moral lesson – that one should not deviate
from the custom of the place he is in.
[6] My rebbe,
Rabbi Berel Wein, notes that in the end Sodom wasn’t destroyed because of all
the evildoers and their malicious iniquitous behavior. Sodom was destroyed
because they didn’t have ten good men. Such is the power and influence of a few
righteous individuals.
[7] Rabbi Dov Zev
Weinberger zt’l; the rabbi emeritus of Young Israel of Brooklyn and the author
of numerous volumes of his beautiful seforim, Shemen HaTov,, Rabbi Weinberger
was niftar in May 2018.
[8] Specifically,
the law that one should preferably have a makom kevu’a – set place where
he davens.