Thursday, August 31, 2017



Phil and Mike were part of a team of construction workers building a skyscraper in the middle of the city. When it was time for their lunch break they sat down together with their feet dangling twelve stories from the ground. Phil opened his lunch box and peered in, “Peanut butter and jelly?! Again peanut butter and jelly! I have had enough! If I get peanut butter and jelly again tomorrow, so help me I’m going to jump right off this structure.” Mike then opened his lunch box and peered in, “Tuna fish?! Again, tuna fish! I can’t take it anymore. If I have tuna fish for lunch one more time I’m going to jump off with you.”
The next day when it was time for their lunch break, the duo sat down together and opened their lunch boxes. Phil was aghast, “Peanut butter and jelly again! That’s it!” With that he leapt off the building. Mike then looked in his lunch box. “Tuna fish again! That’s it!” And before anyone could stop him, he too jumped off the building.
The families decided to hold a joint funeral for Phil and Mike. Before the eulogies began Mike’s wife walked up to his casket sobbing, “Michael, I didn’t know you didn’t like peanut butter and jelly. If I would have known I never would have given it to you for lunch.” With that she walked away crying bitterly.
Then Phil’s wife walked over to his casket, “Phillip… you made your own lunch every day!!!”

It sounds like a silly inane joke. But perhaps there is more truth than it seems. The sefer Sha’ar Bas Rabim[1] relates a powerful insight: He explains that every person wants to be created exactly as he/she is created. Before a soul descends into the body of a newborn baby, the soul is shown what it needs to rectify and what its unique role is while it is alive in this world. The soul then decides what it requires - i.e. its familial, social, economic, intellectual, and physical state, and G-d responds accordingly.
Therefore, when challenges arise in life and one questions G-d, “Why me?” or “How could You do this to me?” the question is misdirected. In truth, it is not G-d who has determined his situation, but rather the person himself, from the pure vantage point of heaven, before descending into this world. Essentially, we make our own lunch.

The Torah instructs (22:5), “A woman shall not wear the garments of a man, and a man shall not wear the dress of a woman, for it is an abomination of Hashem, your G-d, anyone who does these things.”
Targum Yonason explains the verse: “The clothing of tzitzis and tefillin, which are affixed for men, should not be donned by women… for it distances one from before Hashem, your G-d, anyone who does these things.”
Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz zt’l commented that the Torah is reminding us that each person has his own mission to fulfill in life. For one person performing a certain task can be extremely holy, while for another person performing that same task can be considered an abomination. Every person needs to foster feelings of joy and appreciation for his own uniqueness and abilities. How can one compare himself to another if his role is so vastly different?! A man needs the constant spiritual injections of holiness that are garnered through wearing tefillin and tzitzis. A woman however, does not require those measures[2], and therefore for her to wear tefillin and tzitzis can be deemed an abomination.
There are many conscientious students in school who struggle with the notion that their peers have superior scholastic acumen than they do. They work and struggle much harder for grades and do not score as well as others who achieve high grades with minimal effort. Those students must be taught that G-d gives every person what he needs. [Truthfully, those who are trained to struggle and expend effort to reach levels of success are better suited and prepared for the challenges of life. Often it is the students who did not have to work hard during their formative years that are in for a rude awakening when they step into ‘the real world’.]
  In life, we must constantly remind ourselves of the veracity of this concept. We are created with the gifts and tools we need, and therefore we cannot compare ourselves to others.

It is well-known that ‘Mazal Tov’ is an expression of congratulations among Ashkenazic Jews. At a wedding, bar mitzvah, bris milah, and even when one purchases a new home or is honored at a dinner, we wish the celebrators Mazal Tov.
The origin of the expression is unclear[3]. Moreover, the meaning of the expression is perplexing. Mazal is commonly defined as ‘luck’, thus ‘Mazal Tov’ means good luck. It would seem that luck has nothing to do with ‘congratulations’.
Why then, do we wish people Mazal Tov at every joyous event?
Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler zt’l[4] explained that defining Mazal as “luck” is a misnomer. Rather, Mazel refers to a person’s unique purpose in this world. Because a person’s economic status, or health, is a matter of Mazal, some people misinterpret Mazal as luck. But in truth, it is a matter of fulfilling one’s tafkid, his unique purpose in the world. Wealth, poverty, and illness are all examples of tools that a person must utilize to fulfill one’s tafkid.
Therefore, whenever a person is blessed with something new we wish him “Mazal Tov”. Essentially, we are blessing the person that he utilizes the new commodity – an honor, a new home, or reaching a milestone - to help further his fulfillment of his tafkid. At a wedding too, we bless the newlyweds that each should utilize their newfound union to further their personal and joint growth in fulfilling their destinies in life.   

The month of Elul is devoted to preparing for the imminent Days of Judgment. The Shelah hakodosh writes the well-known mnemonic that Elul alludes to the verse[5], “Ani ldodi vdodi li- I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me.”
 Our first task during Elul is to appreciate the first word of the verse, “ani – I”. One must understand his own greatness and then realize that G-d created him in that manner because that is what he needs for optimal growth.
It is only with this cognizance that one can commence the process of repentance. If one does not realize his own value and how much G-d loves him, he will hardly want – or feel worthy – to build a connection with G-d.

Every person must do his/her best with the cards he/she has been dealt with. It helps to remember that we ourselves are the dealers who dealt ourselves the cards we have been endowed with, before we descended into this world. G-d grants us what we felt we need to help serve Him in the optimal manner possible throughout our lives.   

“A woman shall not wear the garments of a man”
“And my beloved is to me”

Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor

[1] Parshas Vayishlach, on the pasuk “shalchayni ki ala hashachar” in a footonote, based on a quote from the gemara Rosh Hashanan (11a)
[2] Women have certain levels of innate holiness that men do not possess. That is part of the reason why they recite the beautifully worded blessing that G-d “has created me according to His Will”. Men require greater levels of growth before they can reach a level of “according to His Will”. But that is a lengthy discourse that cannot be conveyed in a footnote.
[3] It does not appear in the gemara, rishonim, or early acharonim.
[4] Michtav MaEliyahu chelek 4, p.98, in the footnote
[5] Shir Hashirim 6:3

Thursday, August 24, 2017



Melburn McBroom was a domineering boss, with a temper that intimidated those who worked with him. It may not have been so terrible if McBroom worked in a factory or in an office. But McBroom was an airline pilot.  
One day in 1978 McBroom’s plane was approaching Portland, Oregon, when he noticed a problem with the landing gear. McBroom went into a holding pattern, circling the field at a high altitude while he fiddled with the mechanism.
As McBroom obsessed about the landing gear, the plane’s fuel gauges steadily approached empty. But the copilots were so fearful of McBroom’s wrath that they said nothing, even as disaster loomed. The plane eventually crashed, killing ten people.
In his noted work, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman uses this story to argue the importance of ‘emotional intelligence’: “Imagine the benefits of being skilled in the basic emotional competencies – being attuned to those feelings we deal with, being able to handle disagreements so they do not escalate, having the ability to get into flow states while doing our work. Leadership is not domination, but the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal. And, in terms of managing our own career, there may be nothing more essential than recognizing our deepest feelings about what we do – and what changes might make us more truly satisfied with our work.”

“Judges and officers shall you appoint in all your cities – which Hashem, your G-d gives you – for your tribes; and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment. You shall not pervert judgment, you shall not respect someone’s presence, and you shall not accept a bribe, for the bribe will blind the eyes of the wise, and make just words crooked. Righteousness, righteousness you shall pursue, so that you will possess the Land that Hashem, your G-d, gives you.”[1]
The Chofetz Chaim notes that if someone says about another individual that he is ‘wealthy’, we cannot be too sure that it’s true. After all, perhaps the labeler is himself poor and his standard of wealth are a far cry from those of society[2]. However, if Baron de Rothschild would refer to someone as wealthy we can be confident that the individual is truly wealthy. Rothschild was well-known as one of the wealthiest individuals in Europe, so he is a good barometer of wealth.
In a similar vein, if someone refers to another individual as a wise person, we cannot be sure that he is truly an erudite individual. The labeler may not be very intelligent himself and so his measure of wisdom may not be too accurate. However, if Rabbi Akiva Eiger was to declare that a certain individual was wise we could rest assured that he is truly brilliant. Rabbi Akiva Eiger was himself a brilliant scholar of unparalleled proportions, and so he can know the true measure of wisdom. How much more so if King Solomon, the wisest of men, testified about another person’s wisdom!
As the adage goes, “It takes one to know one!”
If the measure of wealth and wisdom can be so defined by mortals who possess great wealth or wisdom, how much more can be said about G-d Himself. If the Creator of the world, who Himself grants all wealth and wisdom, were to testify about a certain individual that He possessed superior knowledge or wealth we would have no doubt about the veracity of those titles. Conversely, if G-d were to declare that a wise person had forfeited his wisdom or that a wealthy individual lost his wealth we would have no doubt that it was true.
Thus, explained the Chofetz Chaim, we must appreciate the Torah’s declarations about the deleterious effect of bribery. The Torah declares that bribery blinds the eyes of the wise person. This is an individual whom the Torah itself declares to be a wise and righteous person. Yet - the Torah warns - even such a person will be unable to objectively offer a judicial ruling if he was offered the most minimal bribe.

The beginning of parshas Shoftim seems, prima facie, solely dedicated to judges and officers. In truth however, it contains a poignant and vital message for every individual. We all pass judgment myriads of times each day. We view events and actions, and react accordingly. We must realize how much we are biased and influenced, even unwittingly. We are prodded to act based on our desires and penchants, and by events that transpire.
During my high school days in Yeshiva Shaarei Torah, a rebbe would deliver a lecture based on the parsha each Thursday night. Each Thursday evening, we students would ask the Menahel who was speaking. Normally he would respond in kind, by telling us the name of the rebbe. But every few weeks he would respond that ‘a close relative of his’ would be speaking. We knew that that was his way of saying that he was himself delivering the lecture that night. 
The wise Sages declared that every individual is related to himself! In fact, we are our own closet relative, even more than our own parents and children. If we are naturally inclined to care about our relatives and those we feel close to, how much more so are we blinded by ourselves.
The Washington Post used to promote its circulation with a classic slogan: “If you don’t get it, you don’t get it!” A person who is candid with himself must realize that in regard to his own shortcomings he can ‘never truly get it’ That is why we need to be able to hearken to the gentle criticisms of friends and loved ones, for they have a more objective view of our behavior and can be the ultimate guides towards our greatest growth.[3]
Even the greatest therapist and parenting expert needs to solicit the advice of others when it comes to his/her own children. In regard to ourselves we must realize that we are always contending with our own biases and emotions, and therefore need the advice and guidance of others.
The Ba’alei Mussar note that the aforementioned verses at the beginning of parshas Shoftim are an exhortation to every person. Those words remind us that we must enact our own personal safeguards and protections from sin.
It is hardly coincidental that parshas Shoftim is read at the beginning of the month of Elul, when we commence our efforts towards repentance and spiritual renewal. Before one can embark on any path he must be able to visualize where he is headed. And that can only be feasibly accomplished if one is willing to solicit advice and guidance from others.

“For bribery will blind the eyes of the wise”
“If you don’t get it, you don’t get it!”

Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor

[1] Devorim 16:18-20
[2] Years ago, when I was in yeshiva, there was a worker who wasn’t of the brightest ilk. He was once asked how much he thought someone’s home (a particularly expensive home) cost. His response was, “That’s an expensive house; it’s gotta cost at least a hundred dollars.”
[3] In fact, that is one of the greatest gifts of a proper marriage. The Sages explain that G-d created the institution of marriage – two people with such diverse backgrounds and temperaments - joining together in building a family, so that they can help build each other in a loving manner.

Thursday, August 17, 2017



A Texas rancher was visiting a farm in Israel. The proud Israeli farmer was showing the Texan around. “Here is where I grow my tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Over there I built a clubhouse for my children, next to the shed I built, on the side of the flower garden.” The Texan was surprised by how much the Israeli had cultivated on such a small tract of land. “Is this all your land?” the Texan asked.
“Yes” replied the Israeli proudly, “every bit of it is mine.”
“No, I mean this is it? Is this all of it?” asked the Texan incredulously.
Betach! It really is all mine!”
“Well son”, replied the Texan, “back home I’d get in my car before the sun’d come up and I’d drive and drive, and when the sun set, why, I’d only be halfway across my land.”
“Oh yes,” replied the Israeli wistfully, “I know exactly how you feel; I used to have a car that ran the same way.”

Moshe Rabbeinu pined to enter the Land until the day he died. Ultimately he was only allowed to gaze at the Land from afar. But throughout his final will and testament to his beloved people, which comprises most of the book of Devorim, Moshe reminded the nation of the physical and spiritual delights of the land. At the same time he repeatedly cautioned them to maintain the sanctity of the Land by observing the Torah. Otherwise, he warned, the Land will repulse them and they would suffer greatly as a result. In the palace of the king one must act with greater vigilance and respect.[1]  
The timeless words of the Torah contain the key for our ultimate return to the Land. The Land must be purged from all impurities of idols and other gods. The laws endemic to the Land must be adhered to with precision, such as shemittah (sabbatical year of the Land) and the various tithes. If Klal Yisroel will fulfill those dictums they will live in unhindered peace and the land will flourish. “You shall cross the Jordan and settle in the Land that Hashem, your G-d, causes you to inherit, and He will give you rest from your enemies all around, and you will dwell securely[2].”  
In bentching[3] we thank G-d, not only for the food He allowed us to enjoy, but also for the Holy Land from which all blessing emanates from. “We thank You Hashem, our G-d, because You have given to our forefathers as a heritage, a land which is desirable, good, and wide.”
 That the land is desirable and good is clear. But how can it be said that it is a spacious land? The square footage of Eretz Yisroel is less than the relatively small state of New Jersey[4]. Even with if the Biblical parameters of Trans-Jordan included, the land is dwarfed by any one of the surrounding Arab countries[5]. Despite how much we love the land and how connected we feel to it, it is not a physically spacious land?
Rabbi Moshe Wolfson shlita[6] related the following beautiful explanation: Reuven meets his friend Shimon one afternoon and excitedly tells him that he has just recently purchased some real estate. “That is wonderful”, replies Shimon, “How much land did you buy?” Reuven smiles, “A foot of land!” Shimon gazes at him incredulously, “A foot of land is practically insignificant. For that you are excited? I think you were duped into a silly deal.”
We would all agree that Reuven does not possess much business acumen. But what if Reuven approached Shimon and told him that he purchased a foot of diamond. Undoubtedly Shimon would be most impressed, for a foot of diamond is invaluable. The disparity between a foot of land and a foot of diamond is diametrically different. The smallest diamond is very valuable, and every added inch of diamond is worth exponentially more.
Eretz Yisroel is described as, “a land that Hashem, your G-d, seeks out; the eyes of Hashem, your G-d, are always upon it…[7]” Every inch of land in Eretz Yisroel is priceless and invaluable. Thus, because it is “a land which is desirable and good”, it is wide and spacious. Perhaps geometrically, in comparison to other lands, it is physically a small land. But as the land which is G-d’s Palace, as it were, it is a huge land, a veritable treasure.

The truth is that one need only travel the roads of Eretz Yisroel to know the veracity of these words. Today the cities of Eretz Yisroel are congested and bustling with Jews, thank G-d. It can be difficult to find living space or even to merely get around the city roads. However, once one drives slightly beyond the city limits (which are constantly expanding) there is open landscape for miles and miles.
This phenomenon is extremely noticeable in Yerushalayim. “Jerusalem, mountains surround it, and G-d surrounds His people, now and forever[8].” The hills surrounding Jerusalem are breathtaking. Houses and settlements, literally, jet out of the sides of the mountains creating ornate beautiful neighborhoods. But if one is driving down Highway One, passed Har Menuchos on the left heading out of western Jerusalem, once one has passed the outlying neighborhoods of Ramot which appear atop the adjacent hills, there are wide gaps of land before the next village appears on the horizon.
The same holds true to the east. When one travels beyond the ever expanding neighborhood of Har Chomah, the rolling hills of the Judean desert come into view, with the villages of Gush Etzion in the distance.
Similarly, if one stands above the Mount of Olives in the Arab village of At-Tur in one direction is a magnificent view of the Temple Mount. In the other direction is nothing but miles of desert.
But even desert land does not seem to be an impediment to us. During the previous sixty years, areas which were nothing but desert are today beautiful tracts of oasis land with Jews living comfortably there.
It may be the land is crowded and population is increasing constantly. Yet the land still beckons to us and awaits our return with open arms… and open land.
Rabbi Yehuda Halevi expressed his nostalgic love for the Land with unparalleled prose and eloquence[9]: “Would that I could wander among the places where G-d revealed to your seers and envoys. Who could make wings for me so that I could wander afar and spread the broken pieces of my heart between your broken pieces (i.e. ruins)? I will fall to my face upon your land and treasure your stones and treasure your soil. I will even stand near the graves of my forefathers, and be in wonder in Hebron, the site of the graves of your chosen ones… Living souls are the air of your land, flowing myrrh the dust of your soil, and dripping honey your rivers…”

When I was in Eretz Yisroel a few months ago I had the opportunity to see many beautiful places and special people, but I did not have a chance to pray at Kever Rochel.  On the final afternoon of my visit with an eleven p.m. flight rapidly approaching, I had about three hours left before the taxi would arrive to drive me to Ben Gurion airport.
I stopped the next cab that passed and asked him how long it would take and how much it would cost for him to drive me to Kever Rochel and to wait for me to enter and daven and then to drive me back. In typical harried Israeli dialect he replied, “One hundred shekel; one hour. Get in, let’s go!” It was a great deal and well worth the price to have the opportunity to daven in one of the holiest places in the world, and we set off.
The driver was not a religious man, but it was clear that he had tremendous respect for Torah and tradition. The Israeli radio was playing in the car, but it wasn’t too loud so I didn’t ask him to shut it. As we drove towards East Jerusalem we conversed about living in Yerushalayim and how fortunate he was to be there.
When we arrived at the security check point barrier outside Bethlehem, he suddenly shut off the radio and quipped, “Zeh makom kadosh; kahn ayn radio – This is a holy place; here there’s no radio!”

All of Eretz Yisroel is holy and ever inch of the land is invaluable. It is the land of Torah[10], a land of spirituality, and the land from which our hearts never left.
Those who were involved in the formation of the state were dubbed Zionists. Truthfully however, a Zionist is one who loves the land because he/she recognizes that it is the Palace of the King from where His Presence never completely left. A Zionist is one who seeks to restore the land to its glory, not merely by aesthetically and physically beautifying the land, but by promulgating and studying Torah, the very fabric of the land.

“Who could make wings for me”
“A land which is desirable, good, and wide”

Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor

[1] It is also not coincidental that the parshios read during the Shabbosos following Tisha B’av discuss and describe the greatness of Eretz Yisroel.
[2] 12:10
[3] Grace after Meals
[4] Israel is 8,522 square mile; New Jersey is 8,729 square miles
[5] With the exception of Lebanon (4,035 sq. miles)
[6] In his sefer “Tzion V’areha” (Zion and its cities). The sefer is a collection of Rabbi Wolfson’s explanations and thoughts, based on the wisdom of the Sages, regarding Eretz Yisroel generally and about many of its cities. 
[7] Devorim 11:12
[8] Tehillim 125:2
[9] Tisha B’av Kinnah 36 – “Zion halo Tishali”
[10] The kabbalistic works explain that every four amos (cubits) of land in Eretz Yisroel corresponds to a specific part of Torah. 

Thursday, August 10, 2017



In the introduction to his sefer V’ha’arev Na[1], Rabbi Yitzchok Zilberstein shlita relates the following story about his father-in-law, the eminent Torah sage Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv shlita:
In Iyar 5768 (1998) Rabbi Elyashiv, had to be hospitalized[2]. Despite his  hospitalization, he was determined to maintain his daily learning schedule which entailed awakening at 3 A.M. and studying Torah uninterrupted until 7 A.M. However, he was so feeble that he was unable to finish buttoning his shirt; he simply lacked the energy. Still he felt that it was disrespectful to learn with his shirt not fully closed so he asked the grandson that was staying with him for assistance.
After his grandson closed his buttons, Rabbi Elyashiv opened his seforim and learned his usual four hour regiment with complete concentration.
Rabbi Zilberstein added that it was a living example of the words of the Maharsha[3], “There is nothing sweeter in all of the engagements of man than the engagement in Torah.”  When one achieves that level of love and devotion to Torah study there is nothing in the world that gives that person as much satisfaction and enjoyment as Torah study.

Reciting blessings are a very important component of a Jew’s life. The gemara relates that in order to ward off a fatal plague that was ravaging Klal Yisroel, Dovid Hamelech enacted that a Jew should recite a hundred blessings every day. The recitation of blessings constantly arouses within a person a perpetual realization and recognition of the Omnipotence of G-d and His Hand in everything that transpires.
Although almost all blessings were obligated and ordained by the Sages, there are two blessings that are Biblically mandated:
·         (Devorim 8:10) “You will eat and you will be satisfied, and bless Hashem, your G-d, for the good land that He gave you.” The gemara[4] explains that from this verse we learn the commandment to recite Grace after Meals, whenever one eats a bread-meal and is satiated[5].
·         (Devorim 32:3) “When I call out the Name of Hashem, ascribe greatness to G-d.” From this verse, the Gemara[6] exegetically derives that one must recite a blessing prior to studying Torah.

The gemara derives a kal v’chomer one must also recite a blessing before one eats[7]. But the blessing prior is only derived from logical reasoning and therefore is only rabbinically obligated. In addition, the gemara discusses the need to recite a blessing after one completes studying Torah. But that too is only a rabbinic obligation.
There is a glaring difference between these two exclusively Biblical blessings, i.e. when they are recited. Why are the Biblically-mandated blessings for Torah study recited prior to one beginning to study, while Grace after Meals is recited after one has completed his meal?
The Vilna Gaon explains that the difference between the recitations of these two blessings is rooted in human nature. When a person desires something physical it is relatively easy and natural for him to be polite and cordial. If a child wants a snack and the parent replies that the child can only have it if he asks nicely, generally the child will pleasantly and politely restate his request.
After one has received what he wanted however, it is common for a person to forget how much he wanted it beforehand, which in turn causes him to forget to express his appreciation for what he received, or at least to express it without adequate feeling. The gemara[8] says that a lion does not roar when it is hungry, but rather when it feels full and satiated. When one is satiated after a fairly large meal, it is common for him to become complacent, and to have a feeling of indolence and lethargy[9].
On the other hand, in regard to spirituality, the opposite is true. The hardest thing is for one to get started. Our Evil Inclination utilizes the force of inertia to restrain us from undertaking good endeavors, such as prayer, Torah study, and mitzvos. But if one is able to overcome his natural sluggishness and indeed prays with concentration, engages in meaningful Torah study, or performs a mitzvah, it will infuse him with a feeling of spiritual bliss and unparalleled fulfillment[10].
In the two Biblically-mandated blessings the subtle profundity and wisdom of the Torah as the Book of Life and human nature becomes apparent. In regard to food – the symbol of physical enjoyment – one is Biblically obligated to recite a blessing after he has eaten and is satisfied, because it is specifically after one is satiated that he often forgets to express his gratitude for what he has received[11].
In regard to spirituality, the converse is true. One must recite the blessings of Torah study prior to beginning his studies, because it is at that point that one may lack a proper feeling of gratitude for the privilege to study Torah. After one has studied he naturally feels a sense of deep gratitude and love for G-d for the ability to comprehend some Torah thoughts. Anyone who has studied Torah and understood some of its depth can relate to that feeling of spiritual fulfillment and achievement.

Doron Mahareta grew up and went to school in Ethiopia, and therefore his background in Judaic studies was weak. When he arrived in Israel in his teens he wanted very much to study Torah in the noted Yeshivas Merkaz Harav. But because of his limited familiarity with Talmud study the yeshiva told him he would not be able to keep up with the level of study. He replied that if he could not become a student in the yeshiva he wanted to get a job helping the kitchen, washing dishes and preparing meals. The yeshiva agreed to accept him. For a year and a half Doron worked in the kitchen during all meals. But as soon as he had completed his kitchen duties he would head to the Bais Medrash and study with uncanny devotion. He would often study very late into the night, learning the tractate that the students were studying.
One day Doron approached the Rosh Yeshiva and asked him to test him on the tractate of Talmud that the yeshiva was studying. Doron and the Rosh Yeshiva subsequently became engaged in a lively Talmudic discussion. The next day Doron was a full-fledged student and was no longer washing dishes.
On weekends when Doron would go home to visit his family in Ashdod, he would spend almost the entire Shabbos engaged in study in the Melitzer Shul or he would study Shulchan Aruch and its commentaries in the Gerrer shteibel. In Shevat 5768, after being in the yeshiva for over ten years, Doron completed his study of the entire Shulchan Aruch!
On Rosh Chodesh Adar 5768 (March 6, 2008), Doron was one of eight yeshiva students at Merkaz Harav who was tragically murdered by Arab Terrorists.
Doron’s story is analogous to the story of the great Hillel who slept on a roof in the snow so that he could hear and study the Torah learning that was being discussed in the warm Bais Medrash below him.   

The timeless wisdom of the Torah in dictating which blessings must be recited reminds us that after one has enjoyed physical bounty he must arouse himself to express his appreciation properly, because he naturally loses his impetus to do so. This is true in regard to our relationships with others as well.
At the same time, the Torah itself reminds us that we must recite a blessing before commencing its study because at that point it may look daunting, intimidating, and unappealing. But after one has studied and mastered any small amount of Torah the joy he feels is unparalleled and blissful. It is literally worth dying for!

“When I call out the Name of Hashem, ascribe greatness to G-d.”
“You will eat and you will be satisfied, and bless Hashem”

Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor

[1] Lit. “Please make sweet”; the opening words to the blessings recited each morning prior to studying Torah. The sefer is a compilation of fascinating halachic questions based on the weekly parsha which demonstrate the Torah’s contemporary applicability to every facet of life in a most engaging and intriguing manner. A second volume was published recently.
[2] At the time Rabbi Elyashiv was 98 years old. G-d should grant him many more years.
[3] Berachos 11b
[4] Berachos 48b
[5] If one eats an olive’s-worth of bread but is not completely satiated he has a Rabbinic obligation to recite Grace after Meals. 
[6] Berachos 21a
[7] A kal v’chomer is a method of Talmudic derivation. The gemara reasons that if one is Biblically obligated to recite a blessing after he has completed his meal, surely he must recite a blessing before he begins to eat his meal.
[8] Berachos
[9] The only exception is one who eats a large meal in a spiritual fashion on Shabbos. Rashi (Beitzah 16a) explains that the ‘neshama yesayra’ (‘added soul’) one is blessed with on Shabbos allows him to partake in greater doses of physical pleasure and yet not be physically repulsed from doiung so, as one would throughout the rest of the week.
[10] The Orchos Tzaddikim explains that if one wants to have a minute taste of what the World to Come – a world without physicality – is like in our world, the temporary blissful feeling one has after performing a good deed or learning Torah with great zeal, is the most analogous to that world, albeit on a far more magnified scale.
[11] The Rabbincally mandated blessing prior to eating logically follows, because it is easier to recite a prayer thanking G-d for food before one has enjoyed it and is still tantalized by the food before him.

Thursday, August 3, 2017



 During a lecture given on Tisha B’av a number of years ago, Harav Matisyahu Salomon shlita, the Lakewood Mashgiach, related the following personal story:
“When I was a young man I was a student in the Gateshead Yeshiva. The yeshiva had a hundred and twenty-five students; not large quantitatively, but qualitatively tremendous. The building was fairly small and we were packed onto the benches. The tables were so narrow that the volumes of gemara before us all overlapped each other. If a student wanted to turn the page he had to ask everyone around him to lift their gemaras first. Yet despite it all we sat and studied with tremendous diligence.   
“One day a Dayan from London came to visit the yeshiva. When he addressed the student body he explained that he did not wish to deliver a lecture. Rather he wanted to read to us a page from an American journal that he had read the week prior.
“The article was written by an obviously irreligious Jew, albeit who possessed an appreciation for Jewish history. In the article the author explained that, along with a group of journalists, he was invited on a European tour. When they arrived in England one of the places they visited was a village in Northeast England called Wallsend. 
“Wallsend is an ancient village that dates back almost two millennia. When the Romans invaded and conquered England they constructed a wall to serve as a barrier to keep the mighty Scottish Picks out of England. The wall was called Hadrian’s Wall after the Roman Emperor. The village where the wall ended was aptly called Wallsend. Today there is nothing left of the wall except for a few moss-covered stones in the village of Wallsend. It is nothing more than a tourist attraction[1].  
“The day the journalist arrived at Wallsend he recalled that he had yahrtzeit for his mother and he wanted to recite kaddish in her memory. When he asked the tour guide if there were any Jewish Services in the area, the guide replied that there was a school in the village of Gateshead ten miles away. There he would be sure to find any religious service he needed.
“The journalist wrote that he arrived at the yeshiva in the middle of the afternoon. He had never been in a yeshiva before and the sight that greeted him was extraordinary. There were tens of young men huddled together on small benches studying, debating, and arguing with passion and vibrancy. The journalist did not comprehend anything they were saying, but he stood and watched spellbound. But then he overheard something which caught his attention. One student called out to his friend, “But Rabbi Akiva says…!” Those words reverberated in his ears.
“Even after they destroyed the Temple in Jerusalem, the Romans understood that their job was incomplete. In order to destroy the Jewish People, they had to stop the public study and teaching of Torah. Rabbi Akiva’s execution was commissioned by the Roman Emperor Hadrian. His crime was that he taught Torah publicly. Hadrian ordered Rabbi Akiva to be killed in a most barbaric and heinous fashion to serve as an example of the severe consequences for teaching Torah. Yet today, centuries later, Hadrian and the Roman Empire are long gone, relegated to the history books and symbolized by a few moss-covered stones. Rabbi Akiva, on the other hand, is alive and well. His teachings and legacy are still being promulgated and studied today![2]
Rabbi Salomon concluded that the story gave him so much encouragement because it serves as a powerful representation of G-d’s Promise, “But despite all this[3], when they will be in the land of their enemies, I will not have been revolted by them nor will I have rejected them to obliterate them, to annul My covenant with them – for I am Hashem, their G-d[4].” Rashi explains that a Jew must never think that the atrocities of exile prove that G-d no longer loves and favors Klal Yisroel. His love for us is boundless, and even in exile the covenant remains in full force.
All of the empires and countries that have sought to vanquish and obliterate us are gone. Yet we remain. That is the greatest sign of His love for us. 

The verses of Shema, recited thrice daily, form the cornerstone of our faith, responsibility, and devotion to G-d. A Jew is obligated to state with conviction, “You shall love Hashem, your G-d, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your “Me’od”[5].”
The gemara[6] offers two explanations of the word ‘me’od’: The first explanation is that me’od means “with all of your resources”; one must prioritize G-d over his money and physical resources. The second explanation is that one must love G-d despite whatever “middah” - Character Trait/Divine Attribute - G-d employs towards him. At times G-d may act toward a person with the attribute of justice, at other times with compassion. But no matter which attribute it is, one must realize that G-d does all for the good and He must love G-d for that.
A Jew must love G-d on Tisha B’av in the same vein as he loves G-d on Simchas Torah. Even when events are inexplicable and painful, during times of loss and pain, one must remind himself that G-d loves him and is always with him. Through that realization one will come to love G-d, regardless of which ‘middah’ He utilizes towards him.

The great Chassidic Master, Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Barditchev, was renowned for his extreme piety and passion in his Service to G-d. One night Rabbi Levi Yitzchok was staying at an inn. At midnight he sat down on the floor to recite Tikkun Chatzos [7] as he did every night.
When the innkeeper was awakened by the sounds of weeping coming from one of his rooms, he was alarmed and went to see what was wrong. Rabbi Levi Yitzchok gently explained to the ignorant innkeeper that he was reciting special prayers to mourn the destruction of the Temple and the elongated exile that we are subject to. The innkeeper replied that those tragic events transpired centuries earlier. Why cry over spilled milk? The Rebbe gently described to his host the grandeur and opulence that was Jerusalem. He described the Kohanim doing the service in the Bais Hamikdash and bringing the offerings on the altar, while the Levites sang harmoniously. He delineated the many miracles that were omnipresent in the Bais Hamikdash, and the feeling of closeness and connection that every Jew felt with his Creator.  
When the innkeeper heard the Rebbe’s description he began to cry. In fact, he cried so intensely that soon Rabbi Levi Yitzchok had to put his arm around the innkeeper to console him. “Despite what we have lost, we are actually quite fortunate”, began the Rebbe. “On Tisha B’av afternoon, after spending hours sitting on the floor and reciting lamentations, recounting all the tragedies that have befallen us as a people during the exile, we arise and don our Talis and Tefillin[8]. During Mincha we recite the added prayer “Nachem” which requests G-d to console us for our losses. How does this drastic transition occur? How can we begin to accept consolation when moments before we were in a state of inconsolable grief? Furthermore, most of the Bais Hamikdash burned during the afternoon of the ninth and the morning of the tenth of Av. Why are we rising from our most intense state of mourning during the time when the flames were ravaging the Sanctuary?
The Rebbe continued, “The truth is that we do not comprehend G-d’s kindness and love for us. Our Sages explain that G-d destroyed the Bais Hamikdash in order to preserve us. Had He allowed us to receive the retribution we justly deserved we would have been destroyed. But because He channeled His anger, as it were, towards the physical structure of the Bais Hamikdash, we were able to survive the harrowing and traumatic ordeal. Therein lies our solace! The very fact that G-d destroyed the Bais Hamikdash demonstrates His love for us, for He destroyed His own home and exiled Himself, as it were, rather than destroy His Beloved Nation.
“That is why we are able to be consoled at the height of our grief. The very burning of the Bais Hamikdash symbolizes the reason why we are able to be consoled. For in that sense the burning Temple symbolizes G-d’s unyielding love for us.”
When Rabbi Levi Yitzchok concluded his narrative, the innkeeper stopped crying, and then he got up and began to dance. Rabbi Levi Yitzchok arose to join him and they sang and danced together. One of the other guests at the inn was awakened by the noise and went to investigate. The sight that greeted him was astounding. He asked the innkeeper why he was dancing with the Rebbe in the middle of the night. The innkeeper smiled and replied, “Why do you think we are dancing? We are dancing because G-d destroyed the Bais Hamikdash!”[9]

The Shabbos following Tisha B’av is titled Shabbos Nachamu – the Shabbos of consolation. The opening words of the haftorah read, “Console! Console My People!” Despite all we have suffered and all of the difficulties and pains people suffer from, we take solace in the knowledge that G-d’s love for us is boundless and unconditional. In addition, we wear ‘our yellow stars’ as banners of pride for we know that we are part of an eternal people who will ultimately prevail and persevere. No other nation can feel consolation in the tragedy itself, besides Klal Yisroel, for we know that we are part of a Master Plan.
We await the ultimate consolation when G-d will abolish tears and pain forever, and the whole world will recognize the undeniable truth, “On that day, G-d will be One, and His Name will be One.”

 “You shall love Hashem, your G-d”
“Console! Console My People!”

Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor

[1] In Rabbi Salomon’s words, “I’m not sure what you do when you arrive at the wall, other than to have a picnic and a beer next to the wall before leaving.”
[2] Rabbi Salomon added that, in his opinion, “that is the only reason why there is a ridiculous place called Wallsend and why people still go to look at those stones. Because those stones are a testimony that Torah is Min Hashamayim (Divinely Ordained).”
[3] i.e. the harsh curses that will befall Klal Yisroel when they do not hearken to the Word of G-d
[4] Vayikra 26:44
[5] Devorim 5:5
[6] Berachos 61b, 54b
[7] Special prayers recited for the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash, to mourn for the Divine Presence which is in exile. It is customarily recited at midnight.
[8]On Tisha B’av morning we symbolize the loss of our pride in the exile and so we do not wear Talis and Tefillin, which represent that pride.
[9] Heard from Rabbi Pinchos Idstein, Head Counselor of Camp Dora Golding, Tisha B’av 5770