Rabbi
Doniel Staum, LMSW
Rabbi,
Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance
Counselor – ASHAR
Principal
– Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor
STAM
TORAH
PARSHAS METZORA/SHABBOS
HAGADOL 5776
“THE ART OF INSTRUCTION”
A number of years ago, a student in Yeshivas
Sha’ar Yoshuv in Far Rockaway acted in a manner that disgraced himself and the
entire yeshiva. It was inevitable that he was going to be asked to leave the
yeshiva.
He was sitting in the Bais Medrash when he was
summoned to the office of the Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld zt’l. Other students
watched as he walked to the office with his held high.
He emerged from the office a few minutes later,
white faced and visibly shaken.
He later related to a close friend that he had
entered the office poised for a confrontation. But when he walked in Rabbi
Freifeld stood up and walked around the table to where he was sitting and said
in a broken voice, “I am sorry that I couldn’t inspire you to be bigger!”
The student admitted, “I had no defense against
his awesome humility. He simply broke me.”
No battle, no confrontation, no argument.[1]
The purification process for a metzora was very
methodical. The Torah describes in precise detail special materials that needed
to be gathered, the manner in which his offerings were brought, how the blood of
the offering was placed on the right earlobe, the thumb on his right hand, and
the big toe on his right foot, and the sprinkling of oil.
The Torah then concludes its detailing of the laws
by stating, “This is the law for every tzaraas affliction…להורות – to rule on which day it
is contaminated and on which day it is purified; this is the law of tzaraas.”
The word "להורות" not only means ‘to rule’ (i.e. to render
halachic decisions) but also to instruct. In the words of the Toras Kohanim,
“this verse teaches that a Kohen may not examine tzaraas afflictions until his
teacher has instructed him how to do so.”
The Oznayim LaTorah explains that while there are
many things that can be learned from a book, certain things can only be
properly learned from observing a live example. The art of examining tzaraas
falls into the latter category. The reason is because the Kohen’s role was not
only to render a forthright halachic decision, but also to admonish the metzora.
He was to say to him, “My son, the affliction of tzaraas results from the sin
of harmful speech.[2]”
One can only rebuke another if he knows how to do so in a gentle manner that can
potentially influence the recipient. If one admonishes another without knowing
how to touch his soul he has only served to exacerbate the problem.
This idea was demonstrated with the story of Iyov
(Job). After Iyov suffered the loss of his wealth and children, his three close
friends sought to console him by preaching to him about morality. They were
reprimanded[3],
“Because you did not speak correctly to Me like My servant Iyov.” Rashi
explains that G-d told them, “Weren’t Iyov’s sorrow and suffering enough that
you had to add to them… and criticize him.”
Every Kohen had to learn from his teacher how to
convey to the metzora, not only the actual ruling, but also the message the
metozra needed to glean from the spiritual malady he was afflicted with. The Kohanim
had a long-standing tradition of how to speak to others with sensitivity and
love from their ancestor and forerunner Aharon. The Mishna[4] relates that Aharon was the
quintessential man of peace, “he loved peace and pursed peace; he loved people
and brought them closer to Torah.” There
was no one who knew the language of the heart better than Aharon, and,
therefore, there was no one who could effectively reprimand others like Aharon.
He taught those lessons to his children and their children to their children.
The Oznayim LaTorah adds that the Kohain did not
only have to be proficient in knowing how to admonish the metozra at the time
of the pronouncement of his affliction. He also had to know how to speak to the
metzora on the day when he was pronounced purified. When the Kohain reexamined
the metzora and found that his symptoms no longer rendered him impure the Kohain
had to offer him words of encouragement balanced with words of gentle warning
that he not repeat his imprudent actions/words which caused him to become
afflicted.
Thus when the Torah states, “to rule on which day
it is contaminated and on which day it is purified”, it can also be read as,
“to instruct on the day when he is contaminated and on the day when he is
purified.” The Kohen must be proficient in connecting with his constituents in
all situations. “On the day when he is contaminated” the Kohen must know how to
simultaneously sympathize and instruct, and “on the day when he is purified” he
must know how to rejoice along with the metzora and encourage him for the
future.
It was not enough for the Kohain to offer his
ruling, he also had to instruct and guide. It took just as much (if not more)
time, patience, and diligence to learn the language of the heart, than it was
to learn the complex and detailed laws of all the shades and complexions of
tzaraas.
At the Seder, there is great emphasis and focus given
to the Four Sons. The commentators note that the varied response we give to
each child is itself an integral educational lesson. Each child must be
addressed individually, in a manner which speaks to him.
This is based on the well-known verse[5], “Educate a youth according
to his way, even when he becomes old he will not move away from it.” Rabbi
Samson Rafael Hirsch explained that our approach to educating a child must be
with an eye to the future. We must try to tailor our educational approach to
what we anticipate the child can become. An educator must seek to understand the
individuality of a child so that he can educate him according to his own unique
capabilities and capacities.
A careful analysis of the text of the haggadah
reveals a poignant message. The vernacular of the haggadah reads,
“Corresponding to four sons does the Torah speak: One is wise, one is wicked,
one is simple, and one does not know how to ask.”
The haggadah does not say that there are four
sons, but rather that the Torah speaks about four sons. In truth, no child fits
into perfect neat categories.[6] There is a little bit of each
of the Four Sons in every child (and adult). No only must the educator know how
to address each child individually, but he must also know how to address the
different components of the child’s personality.
Instructing others is an art that must be studied
and learned from example. The mtzvah of Seder night, “And you shall tell your
son” is an injunction that we must convey the lessons of the exodus to each of
our sons in a manner which speaks to his heart and soul.
“To instruct… this is the law of tzaraas”
“Corresponding to four sons does the Torah speak”
[1] From “Reb Shlomo: The life
and legacy of Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld”. [One of the greatest books I have
ever read.]
[2] Toras Kohanim
[3] Iyov 42:7
[4] Avos 1:12
[5] Mishlei 22:6
[6] This is one of the notable and
justified complaints against labeling children. While doing so is often
necessary in order to diagnose a child so a treatment plan for the child can be
developed, no child (or adult) can be perfectly categorized into premade
classifications. Every person is a world unto himself/herself.