Thursday, September 14, 2017

PARSHIOS NETZOVIM-VAYELECH 5777

STAM TORAH
PARSHIOS NETZOVIM-VAYELECH 5777
 “PERFECTLY CANDID”

The Stranger
Author unknown
"A few months before I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small Tennessee town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer, and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later.
As I grew up I never questioned his place in our family. In my young mind, each member had a special niche. My brother, Bill, five years my senior, was my example. Fran, my younger sister, gave me an opportunity to play 'big brother' and develop the art of teasing. My parents were complementary instructors -- Mom taught me to love the word of G-d, and Dad taught me to obey it.
But the stranger was our storyteller. He could weave the most fascinating tales. Adventures, mysteries and comedies were daily conversations. He could hold our whole family spell-bound for hours each evening.
If I wanted to know about politics, history, or science, he knew it all. He knew about the past, understood the present, and seemingly could predict the future. The pictures he could draw were so life like that I would often laugh or cry as I watched.
He was like a friend to the whole family. He took Dad, Bill and me to our first major league baseball game. He was always encouraging us to see the movies and he even made arrangements to introduce us to several movie stars. My brother and I were deeply impressed by John Wayne in particular.
The stranger was an incessant talker. Dad didn’t seem to mind-but sometimes Mom would quietly get up, while the rest of us were enthralled with one of his stories of faraway places, go to her room, read her Bible and pray. I wonder now if she ever prayed that the stranger would leave.
You see, my dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions. But this stranger never felt an obligation to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our house-- not from us, from our friends, or adults. Our longtime visitor, however, used occasional four letter words that burned my ears and made Dad squirm. To my knowledge the stranger was never confronted. My dad was a teetotaler who didn't permit alcohol in his home - not even for cooking. But the stranger felt like we needed exposure and enlightened us to other ways of life. He offered us beer and other alcoholic beverages often.
He made cigarettes look tasty, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely) about private relationships. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I know now that my early concepts of the man-woman relationship were influenced by the stranger.
As I look back, I believe it was the grace of G-d that the stranger did not influence us more. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents. Yet he was seldom rebuked and never asked to leave.
More than thirty years have passed since the stranger moved in with the young family on Morningside Drive. He is not nearly as intriguing to my dad as he was in those early years. But if I were to walk into my parents' den today, you would still see him sitting over in a corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
His name? We always just called him TV."


“For this commandment that I command you today – it is not hidden from you and it is not distant… Rather, the matter is very near to you – in your mouth and in your heart – to perform it.”[1]
In discussing the deleterious effect of bribery, the gemara[2] quotes Rava, who explained that bribery unwittingly creates a certain bond between the giver and the recipient. That subtle connection causes the receiver’s sense of justice to become impaired.
The Torah warns emphatically that if a judge accepts a bribe he will be unable to render a proper judicial decision in a case involving the briber. The gemara further warns that even if the judge is particularly wise, if he accepts a bribe he will not inevitably conjure up perverse reasoning which will plague him throughout his life.
The gemara continues that even the smallest favor or minuscule gift is considered a bribe that brings with it devastating effects.
If this is all true, how it is possible for a person to repent? Every individual is responsible to be a judge of himself. He must determine whether he has properly fulfilled his obligations. It is undeniable however, that a human being is ‘bribed’ by his own desires and negative character traits which incline him towards sin. If the subtlest bribe destroys the rationale of even the greatest judge, what hope is there for us in judging ourselves, when we are drowning in a morass of self-deception?  
Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt’l[3] answers that logically there should indeed be little hope for our spiritual growth. However, the Torah promises us that if we seek truth, G-d will help us discover the truth, and not be overwhelmed by our own negative whims and thoughts.
This is what the pasuk means when it states: “It is not hidden from you and it is not distant”, for truthfully it should be too distant to achieve. However, “the matter is very near to you – in your mouth and in your heart – to perform it”. Despite our penchants and proclivities, G-d invested us a supernatural ability to transcend our natural self-deception. 
Our evil inclination not withstanding, we have the ability to become close with G-d and ascertain the truth. However, we can only achieve that if we are willing to invest in order to discover it. The first step is for one to realize his innate deception and then pray to G-d to help him overcome it.

When I taught High School literature in yeshiva[4], I would read the above article to my students. They always enjoyed the article and its subtle ironic message. I would then challenge them to explain what makes the article so brilliant? What wily technique does the author use to drive home his message?
We discuss the fact that if the article began by stating that the author wanted to convey just how terrible television is, most of the message would have already been lost. Bribed by the ‘inner id’, a person who watches television does not want to hear about how terrible it is. He goes through life making up excuses for himself why ‘it’s not really so bad’. 
But the author does not begin with any introduction. Rather he immediately launches into the story, capturing the attention and piquing the interest of the reader. By the time the reader has neared the end of the article, he has arrived at his own conclusions about the terrible stranger. He can not help but wonder why the family sanctioned such an awful influence in their home? If the stranger made the parents nervous why did they not ever demand that the stranger leave?
Then in the final line – nay, in the final two letters - of the article the irony of the story is revealed. At that moment, the potent message of the story is undeniable. It is only in retrospect that the reader realizes who the stranger is and by then it is too late to deny the strong negative thoughts and feelings evoked for ‘the stranger’. The author allowed the reader to unwittingly draw his own conclusions about the evils of TV.[5]

It is hard for us to be objective when it comes to ourselves. But the Torah assures us that it can be done if one is prepared to perform a candid internal reckoning.
Just prior to his demise, Moshe tells his beloved student and successor Yehoshua, “Hashem – it is He Who goes before you; He will be with you; He will not release you nor will He forsake you; do not be afraid and do not be dismayed[6].”
That message speaks to every Jew for all time. One need only begin the search earnestly and diligently. Once one has rolled up his sleeves and sets a trajectory in motion, he will realize that Heaven is guiding him and spurring him onward.  

“In your mouth and in your heart to perform it”
“Hashem – it is He Who goes before you”


Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor




[1] Devorim 30:11-14
[2] Kesuvos 105
[3] Divrei Aggadah
[4] In Yeshiva Shaarei Arazim
[5] See Shmuel 2, chapter 11-12 where the prophet Nosson utilizes a similar tactic in getting Dovid Hamelech to realize the mistake he made, by allowing Dovid to draw his own conclusions in a made up analogy which Nosson presented to Dovid.
[6] 31:8

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