STAM
TORAH
PARSHIOS
NETZOVIM-VAYELECH 5777
“PERFECTLY CANDID”
The
Stranger
Author unknown
"A few
months before I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small Tennessee
As I grew up
I never questioned his place in our family. In my young mind, each member had a
special niche. My brother, Bill, five years my senior, was my example. Fran, my
younger sister, gave me an opportunity to play 'big brother' and develop the
art of teasing. My parents were complementary instructors -- Mom taught me to
love the word of G-d, and Dad taught me to obey it.
But the
stranger was our storyteller. He could weave the most fascinating tales.
Adventures, mysteries and comedies were daily conversations. He could hold our
whole family spell-bound for hours each evening.
If I wanted
to know about politics, history, or science, he knew it all. He knew about the
past, understood the present, and seemingly could predict the future. The
pictures he could draw were so life like that I would often laugh or cry as I
watched.
He was like
a friend to the whole family. He took Dad, Bill and me to our first major
league baseball game. He was always encouraging us to see the movies and he
even made arrangements to introduce us to several movie stars. My brother and I
were deeply impressed by John Wayne in particular.
The stranger
was an incessant talker. Dad didn’t seem to mind-but sometimes Mom would
quietly get up, while the rest of us were enthralled with one of his stories of
faraway places, go to her room, read her Bible and pray. I wonder now if she
ever prayed that the stranger would leave.
You see, my
dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions. But this stranger never
felt an obligation to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in
our house-- not from us, from our friends, or adults. Our longtime visitor,
however, used occasional four letter words that burned my ears and made Dad
squirm. To my knowledge the stranger was never confronted. My dad was a
teetotaler who didn't permit alcohol in his home - not even for cooking. But
the stranger felt like we needed exposure and enlightened us to other ways of
life. He offered us beer and other alcoholic beverages often.
He made
cigarettes look tasty, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely
(much too freely) about private relationships. His comments were sometimes
blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I know now that my
early concepts of the man-woman relationship were influenced by the stranger.
As I look
back, I believe it was the grace of G-d that the stranger did not influence us
more. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents. Yet he was seldom
rebuked and never asked to leave.
More than
thirty years have passed since the stranger moved in with the young family on Morningside Drive
His name? We
always just called him TV."
“For this commandment that I command you today – it is not hidden from
you and it is not distant… Rather, the matter is very near to you – in your
mouth and in your heart – to perform it.”[1]
In discussing the deleterious effect of bribery, the gemara[2]
quotes Rava, who explained that bribery unwittingly creates a certain bond
between the giver and the recipient. That subtle connection causes the
receiver’s sense of justice to become impaired.
The Torah warns emphatically that if a judge accepts a bribe he will be
unable to render a proper judicial decision in a case involving the briber. The
gemara further warns that even if the judge is particularly wise, if he accepts
a bribe he will not inevitably conjure up perverse reasoning which will plague
him throughout his life.
The gemara continues that even the smallest favor or minuscule gift is
considered a bribe that brings with it devastating effects.
If this is all true, how it is possible for a person to repent? Every
individual is responsible to be a judge of himself. He must determine whether he
has properly fulfilled his obligations. It is undeniable however, that a human
being is ‘bribed’ by his own desires and negative character traits which incline
him towards sin. If the subtlest bribe destroys the rationale of even the
greatest judge, what hope is there for us in judging ourselves, when we are
drowning in a morass of self-deception?
Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt’l[3]
answers that logically there should indeed be little hope for our spiritual
growth. However, the Torah promises us that if we seek truth, G-d will help us
discover the truth, and not be overwhelmed by our own negative whims and
thoughts.
This is what the pasuk means when it states: “It is not hidden from you
and it is not distant”, for truthfully it should be too distant to achieve.
However, “the matter is very near to you – in your mouth and in your heart – to
perform it”. Despite our penchants and proclivities, G-d invested us a supernatural
ability to transcend our natural self-deception.
Our evil inclination not withstanding, we have the ability to become
close with G-d and ascertain the truth. However, we can only achieve that if we
are willing to invest in order to discover it. The first step is for one to
realize his innate deception and then pray to G-d to help him overcome it.
When I taught High School literature in yeshiva[4], I would
read the above article to my students. They always enjoyed the article and its subtle
ironic message. I would then challenge them to explain what makes the article
so brilliant? What wily technique does the author use to drive home his
message?
We discuss the fact that if the article began by stating that the
author wanted to convey just how terrible television is, most of the message
would have already been lost. Bribed by the ‘inner id’, a person who watches
television does not want to hear about how terrible it is. He goes through life
making up excuses for himself why ‘it’s not really so bad’.
But the author does not begin with any introduction. Rather he
immediately launches into the story, capturing the attention and piquing the
interest of the reader. By the time the reader has neared the end of the
article, he has arrived at his own conclusions about the terrible stranger. He
can not help but wonder why the family sanctioned such an awful influence in their
home? If the stranger made the parents nervous why did they not ever demand
that the stranger leave?
Then in the final line – nay, in the final two letters - of the article
the irony of the story is revealed. At that moment, the potent message of the
story is undeniable. It is only in retrospect that the reader realizes who the
stranger is and by then it is too late to deny the strong negative thoughts and
feelings evoked for ‘the stranger’. The author allowed the reader to
unwittingly draw his own conclusions about the evils of TV.[5]
It is hard for us to be objective when it comes to ourselves. But the
Torah assures us that it can be done if one is prepared to perform a candid
internal reckoning.
Just prior to his demise, Moshe tells his beloved student and successor
Yehoshua, “Hashem – it is He Who goes before you; He will be with you; He will
not release you nor will He forsake you; do not be afraid and do not be
dismayed[6].”
That message speaks to every Jew for all time. One need only begin the
search earnestly and diligently. Once one has rolled up his sleeves and sets a
trajectory in motion, he will realize that Heaven is guiding him and spurring
him onward.
“In your mouth and in your heart to perform it”
“Hashem – it is He Who goes before you”
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor
[1] Devorim 30:11-14
[2] Kesuvos 105
[3] Divrei
Aggadah
[4] In Yeshiva
Shaarei Arazim
[5] See Shmuel
2, chapter 11-12 where the prophet Nosson utilizes a similar tactic in getting
Dovid Hamelech to realize the mistake he made, by allowing Dovid to draw his
own conclusions in a made up analogy which Nosson presented to Dovid.
[6] 31:8
0 comments:
Post a Comment