Rabbi
Doniel Staum, LMSW
Rabbi,
Kehillat New Hempstead
Social
Worker, Yeshiva Bais Hachinuch/Ashar
STAM TORAH
PARSHAS YISRO 5773
“WITH
OPEN ARMS”
The
inspirational video “Inspired Too” produced by Aish Hatorah, documents the
experiences of secular Jews who were guided to a life of Torah observance. One
of the interviewees, Stephen Coleman, then a law student in Florida
“He
said to Moshe, ‘I, your father-in-law Yisro, have come to you, with your wife
and her two sons with her’.[1]”
Rashi
explains Yisro’s statement: “If you do not come forth (in greeting) on my
account, come forth on account of your wife. And if you do not come forth on
account of your wife, come forth on account of her two sons.”
What
was Yisro’s intent by uttering this statement? Was he so insecure about his
standing in the eyes of Moshe that he needed to remind him that his wife and
sons were coming too?
Rabbi
Bentzion Kokis[2]
offered the following explanation: When Yisro heard about the great miracles
that G-d had performed for Klal Yisroel he had a sincere desire to join the
nation. But Yisro was unsure if he would be accepted. His last encounter with
his son-in-law was when he was still a humble refugee, who lived in fear of
Pharaoh’s revenge. But now Moshe had risen to become the great prophet and
leader, revered by the entire world. Yisro, on the other hand, had an
ignominious past as a former priest of idolatry. Perhaps Moshe’s current stature
would no longer allow him to speak and relate to Yisro.
Therefore,
Yisro proclaimed that if Moshe could not greet him, Moshe should at least greet
his wife. Still, Yisro was unsure about the relationship between Moshe and his
wife. Perhaps Moshe’s newfound greatness precluded him from speaking or
interacting with his wife. So Yisro concluded that at the very least Moshe
should greet his sons, to whom he had an obligation to educate and teach.
Yisro’s
apprehension represents a common feeling among outsiders of the Torah community
who are peering in. They wonder uneasily how things are different, about the
radical changes they will need to make, and about expectations and standards.
How accepted will they be and are they destined to remain social outcasts?
The
Torah continues “Moshe went out to greet his father-in-law.[3]”
Moshe unhesitatingly demonstrated tremendous respect for Yisro. “He bowed and
he kissed him, and they inquired, one man to the other, about the other’s
well-being.” At that moment when Moshe accorded his father-in-law the greatest
respect and honor Yisro felt accepted.
A
person who has not been raised in our community and decides to accept upon
himself/herself the incredible commitment of becoming Torah observant fears not
only the changes themselves but what their social standing will be. Moshe’s
respectful and loving conduct towards Yisro is an integral lesson about drawing
others closer to a life of Torah and mitzvos.
We
must demonstrate to others that a life of Torah draws a person closer to his
inner self, and doesn’t alienate him from his past. There are unquestionably
significant changes in one’s conduct and lifestyle, but one’s sense of identity
and connection to their inner self, including their talents and strengths, need
not be inhibited or discarded. Au contraire, they should be channeled and utilized
for a higher purpose, to bring happiness and joy to others. That is the
greatest development of one’s self.
When
Moshe went out to greet Yisro he validated Yisro’s search for meaning. Similarly,
that sense of validation is integral to any outsider who seeks entry into a new
lifestyle.
At
the conclusion of the aforementioned video, Inspired Too, Rav Noach Weinberg
zt’l, the legendary founder of Aish HaTorah, discusses the vital importance of
outreach to our uneducated brethren. He says, “We cannot fail; the Almighty is
with us! We have a Torah that is beautiful beyond compare. We just have to
present it the right way. We have a people who are thirsty for meaning, for
truth, idealists in every way… they want truth and meaning. We have to do our
job. We cannot fail if we do our efforts.”
When
the interviewer then asked Rav Noach what he prays for, he replied emotionally
with moist eyes, “I say ‘Almighty G-d, I know you care about this much more
than me and I know You want me to succeed. I know that if You help me we can
change the whole world! I know You want to help me. I know I just have to want
it enough! Please help me… to want it – to feel this pain (of the lost souls of
our brothers and sisters) the way you feel it. Please help me to want to feel
this pain, so that you can help me accomplish’.”
In
one of his impassionate speeches about the importance of kiruv, Rav Avrohom Pam
zt’l[4] lamented
the fact that most Jewish children today, in Eretz Yisroel and in America
There
is no greater joy and gratitude that a father can have than when a lost child
is led home. It is incumbent upon us to open our hearts to pave that road and
to welcome those souls home[5].
“I,
your father-in-law Yisro, have come to you”
“He
bowed and he kissed him”
[1] Shemos
18:6
[2] Va’ad To
Avreichei HaKollel of Yeshiva Shaarei Torah, Parshas Yisro 5765
[3] Shemos
18:7
[4] Moreh
Derech, P. 54
[5] That
welcome entails that we discard the silly labels which classify us into
different groups, including BT, FFB, etc.
_____________________________________________________
“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Yisro
21 Shevat 5773/Febuary 1, 2013
The buzz is in the air. Get your hoagies and chips ready. It’s ‘Erev Super Bowl Sunday’. You may not even know which teams are playing; you may not even like football at all. But if you’re a good American, your gearing up for the great event.
On Sunday our family enjoyed a pizza lunch with our friends, the Kraus family. They mentioned that after lunch they were heading to Saperstein’s Purim store to pick out costumes for their children. Later that afternoon I met my Rabbi Saperstein himself and I wished him a “Happy Erev Purim”. He smiled and replied that it has been Erev Purim for him since the last day of Chanukah.
A few hours later I met Menny Schwab, the director of Camp Fun. I wished him “Happy Erev Camp”. He smiled and replied that indeed that was true for him. He was busy with his reunion and was already accepting applications. This past Shabbos we hosted some friends from Camp Dora Golding, where we spend our summers. One of our guests was Binyamin Daiches, assistant director of the camp. Talking to him over Shabbos makes it apparent that it’s been Erev Camp for him for a few months already.
For many women the holiday of Tu B’Shvat ushers in Erev Pesach, as they begin to anticipate the great chometz purge. [I know there are women who begin Erev Pesach right after Chanukah, but we aren’t talking about those people right now. Their poor families are forced to live in a succah behind their home throughout the winter to ensure that they don’t bring any chometz into the house.]
Although the word ‘Erev’ literally means ‘eve’, we refer to the entire excited frenzy that precedes any Yom Tov as ‘Erev’.
There are people who spend years thinking that they are ‘Erev retirement’, and that’s how they get through their day.
The most fulfilling life of a Jew is when he/she lives the entire week as if it’s Erev Shabbos. This does not necessarily refer to buying food, setting the table, or he other necessary physical preparations for Shabbos. Rather, it refers to one who lives his week in anticipation of the sanctity of the day and what it stands for, as well as in reflection of the growth of the previous Shabbos.
Ultimately we know that the greatest merit is for one to attain the eternal shabbos, in a world where one spends eternity ‘delighting in the splendor of His Shechinah’ (Mesillas Yesharim – chapter 1).
The bottom line is that whatever we live our lives in anticipation of becomes our Erev. It’s that erev which ushers in the ‘boker’ – the subsequent day which lights up and becomes an integral part of our lives.
EREV Shabbat Shalom & Good EREV Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425