Rabbi
Doniel Staum, LMSW
Rabbi,
Kehillat New Hempstead
Social
Worker, Yeshiva Bais Hachinuch/Ashar
STAM
TORAH
PARSHAS
SHEMOS 5773
“A
LESSON UNLEARNED”
The Rodazover Rebbe had a dedicated
chassid who was childless. The chassid frequently begged the Rebbe to bless him
that he merit a child. Although the Rebbe gave him numerous heartfelt blessings,
they never came to fruition.
One time, the Rebbe’s brother, the
Zhikover Rebbe, came to spend time with his brother in Rozadov. When the
chassid met the Zhikover Rebbe he began to pour out his heart expressing all
the pain and anguish he felt because he had not been blessed with children. The
Rebbe listened patiently and then replied that if the chassid would join him in
Zhikov for Rosh Hashanah that year he would be guaranteed a child. When the
chassid recounted the conversation to his own Rebbe, the Rodazover Rebbe
replied, “If my brother assured you that you will merit a child if you spend
Rosh Hashanah with him, it will surely materialize. Do as he says!”
Yet on the first night of Rosh Hashana
after davening the chassid stood on line to wish the Rodazover Rebbe a good
year. “What are you doing here?” asked the Rebbe, “Why are you not with my
brother in Zhikov?” The chassid meekly replied, “I was thinking that everyone
is well aware that I have been bothering you for a blessing for children for
many years now and I have still not blessed with a child. If I went to your
brother for Rosh Hashana and was blessed with a child during the year, what
would people say about you? They might say that your brother is greater than
you and that his blessings are more potent. That might cause you some pain and
embarrassment. Just because I am waiting for a child does not give me the right
to cause the holy Rebbe pain.”
The Rodazover Rebbe was moved by the
words of his chassid and guaranteed that he would merit a child that year.
Within the year the chassid was the father of a baby boy.
When referring to this story, the Rodazover
Rebbe explained that it was not his blessing that brought about that child. “Do
you think I am a miracle worker? I am surely not one to interfere with the
celestial courts. It’s just that when a person demonstrates such incredible
selflessness and care for another even at the risk of forfeiting his life’s
dream, there is no doubt that G-d will hearken to his prayers. It was the
chassid’s own merit that granted him a son, not my blessing!”
Moshe Rabbeinu was raised in the lap
of Egyptian luxury, on the lap of Pharaoh himself. But Moshe was not content in
the opulence of the palace while his brethren were suffering mercilessly. He left
the palace to witness the pain of his people. When he saw an Egyptian beating a
Jew, Moshe killed the Egyptian, and hid his body in the sand. With uncanny ingratitude,
the Jew whose very life Moshe had saved, reported what Moshe had done to the
Egyptian authorities. It was only through miraculous intervention that Moshe
escaped death and was forced to flee Egypt
The Torah[1]
states, “Pharaoh was informed about this incident[2]
and he wanted to kill Moshe. Moshe fled from Pharaoh and dwelled in the land of Midyan
Truthfully, Moshe did not go directly from Egypt
After Kinkos died, Moshe was appointed king
of Kush where he remained for forty years. He was given the given
the young widow of King Kinkos as a wife. However, since she was a descendant
of Canaan, with whom marriage was prohibited to Abraham’s
descendants, he always maintained a certain distance from her.
Finally
the queen complained to the councilmen that her son was the legitimate heir to
the throne. When Moshe was informed of her complaint he cordially abdicated the
throne. It was only then that he trekked northward and arrived at the well in Midyan.
This being true it is noteworthy that the
Torah breezes over this entire sixty-year saga with nary a mention. It is
incredible that in between the letter
'ה' of the word פרעה and the 'ו' of the word וישב sixty years
have passed. By recording
Moshe’s escape from Egypt as well as his arrival in Midyan in the same verse,
there must be some connection between the two events.[3]
I once heard the following insight[4]:
By juxtaposing these two events the Torah is demonstrating an important facet
of Moshe’s greatness. Pharaoh wanted to kill Moshe because he had killed an
Egyptian officer. Moshe had done so because he could not bear the sight of a
Jew being made to suffer needlessly. The consequence of Moshe’s action was a
prolonged exile away from his family and his people. He was forced to be a
loner and a refugee for decades, all because he had tried to help a fellow Jew.
By the time Moshe arrived in Midyan, one
would think he would have learned to mind his own business. Judging from what
happened to him the last time he righteously meddled in someone else’s affairs
one would think when he witnessed the shepherd’s mistreatment of Yisro’s
daughters he would leave them to their fate. But Moshe would not do so.
Ignoring his own welfare, he immediately jumped to his feet and came to their
aid, endangering himself yet again.
Following this second incident too Moshe
suffered for his good deed. The Medrash relates that when Yisro was informed of
Moshe’s past he feared Egyptian reprisal for harboring an Egyptian refugee and
so he promptly imprisoned Moshe. It was a number of years before Yisro released
him and offered him his daughter Tzipporah as a wife.
Why was Moshe worthy to be the
greatest leader of Klal Yisroel? Because he was selfless! Sixty years of exile
not withstanding, Moshe was ready to help a stranger in need without hesitation.
To Moshe it was as if there was no gap between his escape from Mitzrayim and
his arrival in Midyan. In that sense, he did not learn his lesson; he refused
to learn his lesson! He understood that there is a price to pay in order to
foster kindness and achieve justice, and he was willing to pay that price.
It was that drive which made him worthy to
be the leader of Klal Yisroel that would soon transmit G-d’s Holy Torah to His
Holy Nation.
Recently I was talking to Ari, a young
student, who told me that he has a classmate named Moshe that many of his
peers, himself included, found very annoying. While many of his classmates
shrugged Moshe off and kept their distance from him, Ari would occasionally
invite Moshe to his home and spend time talking to him. Ari confided that it
was hard for him to talk to Moshe and it would be much easier for him to shrug
him off like many of his classmates had done.
I told Ari that others see him as a boy
with fine middos, an example for his peers. That encomium comes with a price
tag. I told Ari that he should be proud that he is willing to sacrifice of
himself to help another. It may be easier for the other boys to ignore Moshe
but it inevitably has a negative effect on their personality.
There is an old sarcastic quip that “No
good deed goes unpunished”. One who strives for greatness has to be ready to
pay that price. He must remind himself that it is par for the course of leadership.
“Moshe fled from Pharaoh…”
“…And dwelled in the land of Midyan and sat
at the well”
[1] Shemos
2:16
[2] that
Moshe had killed an Egyptian
[3] It is not
difficult t understand why the Torah does not relate this story. The Torah is
not a story book. There are many similar fascinating accounts that are only
mentioned in Medrash (e.g. Avrohom Avinu in the furnace of Nimrod). Only select
stories are included in the Torah if they are timeless accounts.
[4] Heard
from Rabbi Yosef Templer, Shabbos Kodesh Shemos 5765
___________________________________________________________
“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Shemos
22 Teves 5773/January 4, 2013
Dear Principal
I am writing to you out of deep aggravation and frustration. Last night my son came home from school and reported to my wife that the boys in his class didn’t allow him to play in their game during recess. He said that his teacher made him miss the first few minutes of recess because she felt he was being mean to his classmates.
That itself is an outrage! When I asked my son to tell me what really happened he said that all he did was call another boy a loser a few times. So what if it was front of other kids, is that called being mean? Kids have to be able to deal with things. They gotta tough it up and be able to handle it. You really have to help out that kid.
But that’s a separate problem. Because my son was inappropriately denied his rights to recess, he came out late, whereupon his classmates told him he had to find someone else to split up with because they already made teams. I have no doubt that they knew all too well there was no one else to split with him.
I don’t know what you call that behavior, but in my book that’s called bullying. As you know, using any authority or power to get something unwarranted or to push around someone else is bullying. This includes using threats, ultimatums, or exerting strength or power to get what you want, without taking consideration of the victim or his perspective on the situation.
I don’t send my son to school so that his self-esteem could be shattered. How can a group of kids be allowed to gang up on my son and not allow him to play just because one of them was immature enough to complain about a harmless tease and he was forced to come out late?
The school claims that bullying is absolutely not tolerated. Is that just a nice quip you write in the handbook and preach to the parents? Where are you now that my son is being bullied?
I will absolutely not stand for this! I’ll have you know that if you do not act on this matter immediately to rectify this problem, I will publicize the incident. I will write to the local newspapers and tell them about this and my other grievances with the school, and your deficient handling of it. Other parents will join me in bringing this matter to the attention of the school board. So you better get to it and address the situation.
With everything else going on in our crazy society I cannot allow anyone to bully my son. I will not tolerate his being given any ultimatums or threats. So either fix it or face the consequences.
I wait to hear your response and I expect that everything will be taken care of immediately.
Sincerely,
Inherent Paradox
Dear Principle: Don’t expect your child’s school to be able to teach your son lessons you don’t live by!
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425
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