Rabbi
Doniel Staum, LMSW
Rabbi,
Kehillat New Hempstead
Social
Worker, Yeshiva Bais Hachinuch
STAM
TORAH
PARSHAS
EMOR
“KADDISH
OR KIDDUSH”
To most of the world, Gora-Kalwaria is a small
insignificant Polish town twenty miles southeast of Warsaw village of Ger
My first internship as a social work
student a number of years ago, was with Bikur Cholim’s department for Holocaust
survivors[1].
One of my clients was an elderly secular Jew, a survivor who was well into his
90’s. As is sometimes the case with elderly people, though his mind was no
longer very lucid, when we spoke about the past he would perk up. He was a
pleasant man who smiled whenever I would come to see him. We spoke of good
times before the war and we spoke about the horrors he endured during the war
and in the horrors of the camps. I only saw him cry one time.
We were speaking about Poland
The Chassidim in Poland
When survivors reminisce about what Yom Tov
was like in Ger it sounds fantastical. The whole town was packed with people
and in the Bais Medrash people literally climbed the walls, and hung from
windows, to get a glimpse of the Rebbe. There were people in every corner and
on every rooftop of the small village.
On February 25-26 1941, the Nazi’s deported
well over one-hundred thousand Gerrer Chassidim from Ger to the Warsaw Ghetto. The
overwhelming majority of those deportees were destroyed.
The Immrei Emes escaped to Eretz
Yisroel but he was deeply pained by the unbearable losses of most of his
followers. He died in Yerushalayim on Shavuos in 1948 as the holy city was
being shelled by the Jordanians during Israel
His son, the Bais Yisroel, assumed the
mantle of Gerrer Chassidus. Under his influence and guidance the great legacy
of Ger rebuilt from the ashes. Today it has flourished into one of the largest
Chassidic sects in the world.
The Bais Yisroel possessed a fiery and
staunch personality. People who stood in his presence describe the incredible awe
they felt. He was not a man who showed emotion; his Chassidim knew he was
dedicated to them and he loved them but his indomitable personality was
unyielding.
There was one time however, that the Rebbe,
who had lost a wife and two children during the war[3],
showed a hint of emotion. By Shalosh Seudos one Shabbos the Rebbe quoted the verse
which describes the saga of Noach and the flood. The Torah writes, “Noach did
‘all’ that Hashem had commanded him, so he did[4]”.
Rashi explains that ‘all’ refers to the fact that Noach built the Ark.
The Bais Yisroel explained, “When
Noach saw that the destruction of the world was imminent, he had little will to
survive. Noach understood that his whole world, and everything familiar to him,
was about to be eradicated and he did not want to live. But Hashem commanded
him to enter the Ark
The message of the Bais Yisroel was
clear. It was not easy to emerge from that world of terror and indescribable
pain. In a sense, it would have been far easier to have perished in the
smokestacks of the crematorium than to have to live with those horrific images,
and to bear witness to the atrocities they endured. It was almost too daunting a
task to rebuild and not allow themselves to fall prey to despair and despondency[5].
But G-d miraculously saved each survivor and plucked them from the Ark. Therefore,
they had a mission to rebuild.
Just as Klal Yisroel were designated to be
an elite and holy nation, so too, the Kohanim were chosen to be the elite of
the elite; the Chosen Leaders of the Chosen
Nation. Along with privileges comes added responsibility and more austere restrictions.
One of the more difficult laws imposed on
the Kohanim was the prohibition for them to come into contact with a dead body.
A Kohain may only become impure from a dead body if the dead person is one of
his seven closest relatives[6]
or if there is no one else who can bury the dead person (mais mitzvah). However, if the Kohain’s best friend or an uncle
whom he was close with dies, the Koahin may not attend the funeral, because it
will render him impure.
When the Torah relates these laws it
commences with an introductory verse. “G-d said to Moshe: Say to the Kohanim,
the sons of Aharon, and you shall say to them: Each of you shall not
contaminate himself to a [dead] person among his people.[7]”
Rashi quotes the Gemara in Yevamos[8]
which addresses the apparent redundancy in the verse, “say to the Koahnim…and
you shall say to them”. The Gemara explains that G-d was instructing Moshe that
there must be a double ‘saying’ (i.e. instructing) here. Not only was Moshe
himself to instruct these laws to the Kohanim but he was also, “lihazhir hagedolim al hak’tanim”, to
admonish the adult Kohanim to ensure that these laws be safeguarded by the
younger Kohanim as well. Simply understood, the Torah is cautioning the older
kohanim to be vigilant that the younger Kohanim not defile themselves.
Rabbi Aryeh Leib Schneinbaum[9]
views the Gemarah’s admonishment homiletically: Why is it necessary for the
Torah to reprimand the elders regarding the youth specifically in regard to the
laws of death and contamination?
During challenging times of personal grief
and anguish we have a proclivity to become so absorbed in our pain and loss
that we tend to neglect the needs of those who depend on us and need us. In his
vernacular, “we tend to say ‘kaddish’ for the deceased and neglect to say
‘kiddush’ for the living”.
In times of loss it is a daunting task
for one to maintain his objectivity and to reflect upon the needs of others,
especially the needs of those who are suffering from the same tragedy. Children,
more than adults, struggle to make sense out of life and the world, and they often
irrationally internalize much of the external evil they see around them[10].
This difficulty is further compacted by our
underestimation of the perceptivity of a child; children see much more than
we’d like to think they do. Therefore, in stressful times of pathos and pain,
the times when we may neglect to fully address the fears and experiences of our
children, that is the time that our love and comfort is most crucial.
The days of Sefiras Ha’omer contain an
almost paradoxical mood of anticipation and excitement, balanced with mourning
and sorrow. The gemara[11]
relates us that twenty-four thousand disciples of Rabbi Akiva died during this
time period, because they did not treat each other with adequate respect as befitting
men of such great stature. The loss of such a magnanimous group of Torah
scholars was incredibly debilitating. The Torah world reeled in shock, stunned
at the sudden loss of the most budding scholars of their generation. But surely
no one’s grief paralleled that of Rabbi Akiva himself.
The story of Rabbi Akiva is one of the
most beloved passages of Talmudic lore. Akiva was an ignorant shepherd who had
a deep-rooted enmity for Torah scholars. At the age of forty, his life
literally began anew. Within a relatively short time he rose to become a
scholar of unimaginable proportions, dwarfing the erudition of scholars twice
his age. For twenty-four years Rabbi Akiva taught Torah, ultimately amassing
twenty-four thousand students….and then it was all gone! All he had toiled and
strove to accomplish was destroyed. Would anyone have a complaint against Rabbi
Akiva for giving up at that point?
Rabbi Akiva however, did not surrender
to his grief. With brazen resilience Rabbi Akiva gathered five new students and
began anew. An uncompromising sense of mission drove Rabbi Akiva and he taught
those five students who ultimately preserved the unbroken chain of Torah
tradition.
The post- Holocaust generation often
did not speak about the atrocities they had endured during the war. Not only
did they not want to burden their children with the pain they had suffered, but
they had to focus on rebuilding and could not afford to wallow in their
anguish.
It was a generation of tenacious resilience,
who personified the legacy of Rabbi Akiva[12].
The world of technology is constantly in
flux, improving our quality of life. And yet, at the same time, there is a
dearth of emotion and love. Our devices have touch screens, while our
generation, and especially our children, suffer from being out of touch with
the inner reality and emotional selves.
Dr. William Glasser[13]
notes that every human being struggles to create a reality that makes sense to
him/her. Psychosis occurs when one creates a reality in an unhealthy or
destructive way. A healthy reality requires one to feel valuable and valued and
the ability to love others and to feel loved.
If every human being requires love and a
sense of inner value, children require it even more. Youth is a time of
maturation, but it is also a period of great uncertainties and vulnerability. It
is incumbent upon those who have endured more of life’s challenges to guide and
encourage those who need it most.
“Noach did all G-d had commanded him, so he
did”
“To admonish the older ones about the
younger ones.”
[1]
H.E.A.R.T.s – Holocaust Education and Relief team. Working there was an
incredible opportunity to have the chance to meet and hear a bit about the
struggles and challenges of a few holy survivors.
[2] the
third Gerrer Rebbe and the son of the Sfas Emes
[3] he
remarried but never had children after the war
[4]
Bereishis 6:22
[5] as many
survivors did, and who can blame them?
[6] wife,
father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter
[7] 21:1
[8] 114a
[9] Peninim
al HaTorah, Volume 5
[10] They
may even blame themselves, as that is the only rational explanation they can
accept. “Somehow it must be my fault” can become the unfortunate conclusion of
many a child whenever he faces a situation he cannot comprehend, especially
when, G-d forbid, there is a lack of parental harmony in his home.
[11] Yevamos
61b
[12] [In our
time however, when we have rebuilt unimaginably, and as survivors are painfully
fading, we have an obligation to educate our youth about those horrific times.]
[13] “Reality
Therapy”
_____________________________________________________________
“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Emor
16 Iyar 5773/April 26, 2013 – 31st day of the Omer
Pirkei Avos – perek 4
Spring has definitely sprung. More important than the stunning budding trees and return of life, is the buzzing activity on the golf course I pass on my way to shul. The hibernating golfers have come out of their caves and resumed their ancient traditions of trying to whack a little ball into a little hole.
For our son Shalom the golfers add a dimension of excitement to his walk home from shul on Shabbos. He was told by some neighborhood friends that as he walks home, he should keep his eyes trained on the ground to find some stray golf balls that inadvertently overshot their targets by a long way. [A neighbor across the street from the course related that on two different occasions a golf ball crashed through his living room window. I was told that those golfers did not make it to the U.S. Open.] When I arrived home from shul this past Shabbos, Shalom proudly held up his loot – two golf balls.
In his introduction to Mesillas Yesharim, Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato details the ultimate recipe for spiritual growth, as taught in the gemara by Rabbi Pinchos ben Yair. “Watchfulness leads to alacrity, alacrity leads to spiritual cleanliness, cleanliness leads to purity…” One of the important ideas he elucidates is that growth can only be accomplished incrementally, step by step, level by level.
In Yaakov Avinu’s epic dream atop Mount Moriah, he envisioned a ladder with its feet planted on the ground leading up to the heavens. A ladder contains rungs upon which one climbs in order to ascend. If one tries to skip a few rungs he will probably end up falling hard, and land up at the bottom. One can only get to the top if he first has a sense of direction of where he wants to end up, and then slowly ascending, one rung at a time.
The days of Sefiras Haomer are meant to be days of growth. Counting each day reminds of the invaluableness of each day. It entails forty-nine steps to arrive at Matan Torah, one day at a time.
As one progresses in his climb, it is inevitable that he encounter setbacks and periods of darkness which seek to impede his progress. It is during those times when one must find light in the darkness, avenues of encouragement that help him maintain his vision and direction.
The fires of Lag Ba’omer reflect those deep penetrating lights. Those fires are the physical representation of the spiritual light of the holy Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Rabbi Shimon revealed many of the esoteric secrets of Torah, and taught that there is more to every individual and to the world than meets the eye. Therefore, one must always dig deeper to find truth. The fires of Lag Ba’omer represent the final push, impelling us beyond any hurdles, carrying us all the way to Sinai.
A person must always pace himself in his spiritual growth. If he doesn’t invest adequate effort he ends up in the banality of the daily grind. But, if he sets his goals too high he is setting himself up for disappointment and deep personal frustration. Hitting the ball too hard will only ensure that it clears the course and ends up out of the game. To stay in the game he must maintain focus on the goal, and then hit the ball with just the right amount of energy. [Then he gets into that little white car and drives to the next hole…]
It takes a golf expert to hit a hole in one, and it takes wisdom and patience to become one who is whole and complete.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425
0 comments:
Post a Comment