Rabbi Doniel Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – ASHAR/ Yeshiva Bais
Hachinuch
STAM
TORAH
PARSHAS
PINCHAS 5774
“THE
FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH”
For a brief period during my late
adolescence, I learned in the Yeshiva of Greater Washington in Silver Spring , MD.
One of the yeshiva’s greatest assets is its
Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Aharon Lopianski. Rabbi Lopianski is revered not only for
his dynamic lectures which are always full of depth and insight, he is also
beloved for his ability to create deep bonds with his students.
On Friday night of one of the Shabbosos I
was there, after the Shabbos seudah, Rabbi Lopianski invited me to join him for
a conversation on a bench in the park adjacent to the yeshiva[1].
It was a beautiful night and stars filled the sky. Rabbi Lopianski asked me
about myself and my family and we schmoozed for quite some time about many
various topics.
Although I am recounting a small tidbit of that
conversation here, the warmth and listening ear he gave to me that night cannot
be recorded in words.
Rabbi Lopianski spoke about the importance
of always maintaining a spirit of life and never becoming embittered. He
explained that ironically those who struggle and battle difficulties and challenges
and are not inhibited by them, are the most vivacious and spirited years later.
One who does not learn to deal with the inevitable challenges of life can
become stagnant and often embittered.
Rabbi Lopianski pointed to a personal mentor
and Rebbe of mine who is also a Rebbe in the yeshiva who had lost his father
when he was twenty-one years old. Today, that Rebbe is one of the most
energetic and vigorous people I know, with a passion to accomplish and inspire
others. That magnitude of determination and spirit resulted from his ability to
‘rise to the occasion’ and not be deterred by the inevitable vicissitudes of
life.
He continued that the challenges I was
facing and would face throughout my life, would help me understand others and
help others deal with their own personal challenges and difficulties. That
would in turn help me always maintain a drive to accomplish and grow.
In the years since then I often think about
the truth of those words.
In parshas Pinchas the special Mussaf (lit.
added) offerings that were offered on the Altar during the holidays are
delineated. Our holidays are not merely days of vacation and relaxation but
integral times for spiritual rejuvenation. Each holiday possesses its own endemic
service, commandments, and spiritual blessing, and each is an opportunity for
growth.
When Blia’am was riding on his donkey en
route to curse Klal Yisroel, an angel impeded their path causing the donkey to
crush Bila’am’s foot against the wall. When Bila’am wrathfully struck his
donkey, the donkey miraculously spoke and said to Bila’am, “What have I done
that you have struck me these shalosh
regalim – three times?”
Rashi notes that the verse uses the word
“regalim” not the more commonly used word, “pe’amim”. This is an allusion to
the great merit of Klal Yisroel that they observe the great holidays of Pesach,
Shavuos, and Succos, commonly referred to as the “shalosh regalim- three
festivals”.[2]
The message to Bila’am was that he would never be able to destroy a nation
which constantly strengthens itself through celebration of the holidays which
infuse them with renewed strength and spiritual focus.
The verse describes Rosh Hashana as “Yom Teruah
yihyeh lachem- a day of shofar-sounding for you.”[3]
The gemara states that on Rosh Hashanah when we blow shofar, Satan becomes
frightened that the shofar blowing may be the shofar of Moshiach, heralding the
final redemption.[4]
Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer zt’l wonders how
Satan could be fooled every year. Does he not know that there is a mitzvah to
blow shofar on Rosh Hashanah every year? If Klal Yisroel blew shofar last year
and it did not herald the final redemption, why should Satan think this year
will be any different?
Rabbi Blazer answers that each year Satan
is afraid that perhaps this year Klal Yisroel will hearken to the wailing of
the shofar and internalize its heartrending message. Perhaps this year they will
repent properly and will indeed be worthy of redemption. Despite the fact that
each year until now the call of the shofar has gone somewhat unheeded, Satan is
still afraid that this year may be THE year.
Rabbi Blazer continues that there is a
tremendous lesson to be gleaned from Satan’s apprehension. We ourselves have
lived through many Rosh Hashanas and Yom Kippurs. We have made numerous
resolutions and perhaps have not fulfilled many of them. Year in year out, we
have made commitments to transform ourselves and to live the lives we truly
want to live but come up short in our personal aspirations and dreams. We have
heard the cry of the shofar so many hundreds of times and yet we have allowed
its call to go unheeded. And so we become despondent. We allow ourselves to
live the life that happens instead of the life we truly desire![5]
But even after so many years and so many squandered opportunities, Satan still
fears that we may finally fulfill our potential. Shouldn’t we have at least the
same confidence as Satan that perhaps this year will be the year?
Harav Shlomo Freifeld zt’l was an
insightful and beloved educator. Once on a Shabbos afternoon, Reb Shlomo was
speaking to his students about man’s omnipresent ability to effect change at
any time he wholly commits himself to do so. In the middle of his speech he
grabbed his gray beard and shouted, “I am the youngest one here.” The message he
was conveying to them was that if they were skeptical about their ability to
change and improve, then they were old and withered. Being ‘old’ is based on a
state of mind more than it is based on a biological clock!
In a discourse during the Ten Days of
Penitence, Reb Shlomo recounted a conversation that he had recently had with an
elderly woman named Mrs. Gingold. Mrs. Gingold was a Russian woman who was over
a hundred years old and living in a nursing home. When Reb Shlomo had gone to
visit her, he noticed that she wasn’t eating her lunch. When he inquired about
it she explained that she had recently undertaken to fast ba’hab.[6]
Reb Shlomo was quite surprised. Those fast days are a stringency undertaken solely
only by righteous individuals. It was virtually unheard of for a woman to
undertake them, surely not an elderly frail woman.
Mrs. Gingold tearfully explained, “Barbara
has been my nurse for many years. She has cared for me faithfully and has
always been there for me. One day last week however, she was tired and when she
gave me an injection she was somewhat clumsy. She pricked me with the needle
and in my pain I shouted at her. She has been my nurse for so long, yet I
berated her for making one mistake. Although I apologized to her numerous times
I was beside myself that I could have lashed out at her as I did. Therefore, I
have accepted upon myself these fasts as a way to repent for my inappropriate
behavior.”
When Reb Shlomo finished relating the story
he paused and looked around the room before continuing. “Who is old and who is
young? You, who are in your twenties but are cynical and mistrustful about your
ability to change, are old. Mrs. Gingold, who is still working on herself, is
young.” Then he added, “I hope to grow up to be as young as her!”[7]
The fountain of youth is rooted in the
desire to always accomplish more. Life is a perennial struggle and one who is
ready to undertake the challenge guarantees himself vibrancy and vigor. But one
who decides that he has done enough and he rests upon his laurels allowing his
life to coast on cruise control, places himself in danger of colliding with
apathy and indifference.
“A day of shofar-sounding for you”
“Shalosh
regalim – three times”
[1] He
subsequently told me that he has had many such conversations on that bench in
the park
[2] Although
the word ‘regel’ literally means foot, it is used to refer to the three seminal
joyous holidays because, in many respects, they are the base and the foundation
of a Jew’s spiritual service, just as one’s feet support his entire body.
[3] 29:1
[4] When
Moshiach comes Satan will no longer have any purpose and will be destroyed.
[5]
Paraphrase of a classic quote from Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky
[6] Baha’b
are the tri-faceted ‘Monday-Thursday-Monday’ fast days after the holidays of
Pesach and Succos. Righteous individuals fast during those days to repent in
case they conducted themselves with excessive levity during the preceding
joyous holidays.
[7] From the
classic book, “Reb Shlomo”
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