STAM
TORAH
PARSHAS
KI SAVO 5776
“EVERLASTING
JOY[1]”
Rabbi Noach Weinberg zt’l would often relate that what
he felt was the key to everlasting happiness could be understood from the
following story:
“Imagine someone is standing on the ledge of the seventieth floor
of the Empire State Building in New York, perching to jump.
“You scream to him, "Stop! Don't do it!"
“He turns to you and says "Why shouldn’t I? My business went
bankrupt and I’m under indictment for fraud. My wife left me and my children
won’t talk to me. All my friends turned their back on me and left me all alone.
And this morning the doctor told me I have a rare form of cancer. And to top it
off I’m blind from birth. So tell me why should I go on living?"
“You freeze not sure how to respond. Then suddenly the man lets
out a cry of joy. “I can see! I don’t know why, but suddenly I can see!”
“Do you think he’ll still jump?
“Of course he wouldn’t” explained Rabbi Weinberg. “He would be so
taken and transfixed by the beauty of the world and the joy of seeing that he
would be excited by the idea of just walking and staring at every thing in sight.
None of his many troubles have gone away and his situation is still grim. But
the sense of wonder and exhilaration would make it all worth it.
“And therein lies the secret of eternal happiness. It is hidden in
the sense of wonder and excitement of everything we have at our disposal
regularly.
“
If you really appreciate
your eyesight, the other pains are insignificant. But if you take it all for
granted, then nothing in life will ever truly give you joy.”
In parshas
Ki Savo, Moshe Rabbeinu related the tochacha, the ninety-eight frightening
curses that would befall the nation if they do not observe the Torah properly. The
parsha also repeatedly mentions the obligation for one to be happy:
“You shall
rejoice with all the good that Hashem, your G-d, is giving to you.[2]”
“And you
shall slaughter peace offerings and you shall eat there, and you shall rejoice
before Hashem, your G-d.[3]”
“Because
you did not serve Hashem, your G-d, with joy and a good hear, from an abundance
of all.[4]”
In
Harvard University, the most widely-attended class is a course about happiness
- what it is and how to achieve it. It is taught by an Israeli-born psychology
professor named Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. The first such seminar, which he conducted
in 2002, began with eight students. Within five years, the course’s attendance grew
to 1,400 registered students.
In his bestseller,
“What is Happiness?” Ben-Shahar notes that Psychologist Phillip Brickman
analyzed the level of happiness people felt after winning the lottery. Within
as short a time as a month, lottery winners returned to their base-level of
well-being. If they were unhappy before winning they were again that way
shortly after. Similarly, and perhaps more surprisingly, accident victims who
became paraplegics were often as happy as they were prior to the accident,
within as little as a year after the accident.
In
addition, Psychologist Daniel Gilbert extended these findings to demonstrate
how poor we are at predicting our future emotional states. We think a new
house, a promotion, or a publication would make us happy, when in fact these
achievements only lead to a temporary spike in our level of well-being. The
same applies to negative experiences. The emotional pain that comes with the
end of a relationship, losing our job, or the failure of our political
candidate does not last long – we soon return to being as happy or unhappy as
we were prior to the experience.
Dr.
Ben-Shahar describes how, at age 16, he won the Israeli national squash
championship, an event that brought the subject of happiness into sharp focus
in his life.
During
the five years while he was training for the event he felt that something
important was missing from his life. He was sure that winning the title would
alleviate that empty feeling and help him achieve real happiness. In his words, “After all, it seemed clear to
me that the mental and physical exertion were necessary to win the
championship. Winning the championship was necessary for fulfillment. Fulfillment
was necessary for happiness. This was the logic I operated under.”
When
he won the championship, he was indeed ecstatic, happier than he had ever
imagined feeling. Following the final match he went out with his family and
friends, and celebrated together.
He
goes on to describe that after the celebration, he went to his room, sat on his
bed and wanted to savor that feeling of supreme happiness. Then suddenly, without
warning, the bliss disappeared, and the feeling of emptiness returned with a
vengeance. The tears of joy shed only hours earlier turned to tears of pain and
helplessness. He tried to convince himself that he was feeling a temporary low
following an overwhelming high. But as the days and months unfolded, he did not
feel happier; in fact, he was growing even more desolate as he began to see
that simply substituting a new goal would not in itself lead him to happiness. It
was that experience which compelled him to seek a deeper understanding about
happiness.
People
often believe that we will truly be happy if they had just a little more. Psychological
studies confirm what the Torah taught us long ago – happiness is based on an
attitude of appreciation and acceptance, not on how much one owns or how
prominent one is. In fact, our Sages warn us that the more one has the more one
wants[5]. Therefore,
the truly wealthy person is the one who is happy with what he has[6].
Rabbi Avrohom
Pam zt’l once quipped that, “People are always looking for the city of
happiness, but they don’t realize that happiness is a state of mind!”
The gemara[7] notes that
Ezra Hasofer enacted that the harsh verses of rebuke be read shortly prior to
Rosh Hashana so that ‘תכלה שנה וקללותיה - the year should end along with its
curses’.
Rabbi
Yaakov Galinsky zt’l asks how Ezra could be sure that every year would have
curses? Ezra made this enactment shortly after the second Temple had been
constructed. It seems like a dismal prediction to say that we must read the
curses at the end of the year because every year will have curses? Is it not
possible that there would be a year of prosperity, when there would be no
curses?
Rabbi
Galinsky answers that the definition of blessing and curse is very objective.
What one person sees as a wonderful blessing another person may view as a
terrible curse.
He explains
that when he was a prisoner in Siberia they
had hardly any food and suffered terribly from pangs of hunger. The winters
were absolutely frigid and the only clothing he had was inadequate to protect
him from the brutal cold. He, and the other prisoners, lived with the constant
danger of becoming frostbitten.
As Rosh
Hashana approached their dream of ‘the year ending with its curses’ meant that
they would have a little bread so they wouldn’t starve, and a full set of shoes
that weren’t ripped. And if G-d really wanted to shower them with blessing, He
would allow them to somehow procure a coat with a warm lining and a scarf. That
would be the greatest blessing.
Then, when
G-d saved him from Siberia and he returned to more of a life of normalcy where
he had enough food to survive, and clothing to at least keep him warm, the
definition of blessing and curse changed. At that point ‘the year ending with
its curses’ entailed that the following year he would have more money and
better food.
The next
year such a person could desire a bigger house with a nicer coach, etc.
People will
always feel that there are curses, no matter how much they are blessed with.
Unless one trains himself to appreciate what he has, he will always be
dissatisfied and see his ‘lack’ as a curse. It is that negative outlook that we
hope we will be able to eradicate from within ourselves as the new year
concludes. In that sense it’s up to us.
One person may
view a certain lifestyle as a curse, but if that person is able to feel happy
with what he has, it is he who is rich!
There
was once an acknowledged artist who invited his friends to his gallery to
witness the uncovering of his new painting entitled “The Door to Happiness.” When
he presented the painting the assemblage marveled at the beauty and color, the
wood grain captured on canvas, and the outstanding craftsmanship. The painter announced
that there was a flaw in the painting and he wanted to see who was keen enough
to notice it. Try as they might no one could find any flaw in the masterpiece, until
one clever observer remarked that there was no handle on the door. Everyone
gasped when they realized the now glaring omission. The artist smiled
confidently, and explained, “This is the door to happiness. It is opened from the
inside.”
“You shall
rejoice with all the good that G-d is giving to you”
“May the
year end with all of its curses”
Rabbi
Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi,
Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance
Counselor – ASHAR
Principal
– Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor
[1] Based on the speech given at
Kehillat New Hempstead, Shabbos Kodesh parshas Ki Savo 5770
[2] 26:11- when a farmer would bring
his bikkurim (‘first fruits’) to the Bais Hamikdash
[3] 27:7 – when setting up the altar
on Mount Gerizim and Mount Eival
[4] 28:47 – the reason the curses
befall the nation
[5] See Koheles Rabbah 1:13; 3:10
[6] Avos 4:1
[7] Megillah 31b
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