Rabbi Doniel Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor – ASHAR
Principal – Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor
STAM
TORAH
YOM
KIPPUR 5775
“IT’S
AN EMERGENCY”
A number of years ago, on the Motzei
Shabbos when we commenced reciting selichos, I went to shul a few minutes
early. Selichos was scheduled to begin at 12:50 a.m. and I wanted to prepare
for a few minutes beforehand. When I arrived at the shul however, the building
was still locked. To my chagrin, I could not remember the numbers to the
combination. While standing and waiting for someone else to arrive, an
ambulance drove by the shul on the nearby street. Then at the corner it made an
abrupt u-turn and hastily pulled into the shul’s driveway. I immediately became
concerned that one of the boys in the Yeshiva, which rents space from the shul
and has trailers behind the main building, had gotten hurt.
Two young men, clad in paramedic regalia
and yarmulkes perched on their heads, jumped out. They asked me what time the
recitation of selichos was scheduled to begin. After I told them they thanked
me, jumped back in to the ambulance, and sped off. I smiled to myself with the
newfound realization that indeed reciting selichos is an emergency.
There standing at the door was a stranger
holding his coat closed. “Hello there”, began the stranger in a loud unruly
voice. “You know it is cold out here. I would really appreciate it if you could
let me in and put me up for the rest of the night.” As the innkeeper pondered
whether he should let the vagabond in, the man added, “Oh by the way, I don’t
have any money, so you’ll be putting me up for free.”
One can easily imagine the invective that
emerged from the innkeeper’s mouth just before he slammed the door shut in the
man’s face. Could a person have more audacity than to wake someone up in the
middle of the night and ask to be admitted for free?!
Yet, that seems to be exactly what we do.
Toward the beginning of the selichos prayers, in which we petition G-d for
forgiveness, we emphatically state: “Not with (the merit of) kindness and not
with good deeds do we come before You; like the poor and impoverished do we
knock on Your door. On Your door we knock O Merciful and Compassionate One,
please do not return us empty handed from before You….for You are the One Who
hearkens to prayer.” Our request seems absurd. If we admit that we have no
merits how can we have the audacity to ask G-d to grant us forgiveness?
Rabbi Zalman Sorotzkin zt’l explains that
the analogy is wrong. If we want to offer a parable to illustrate our
approaching G-d for forgiveness, the following parable is more accurate:
3:00 a.m. The innkeeper was fast asleep in
his bed with a fire burning peacefully in the stove warming the entire inn.
Suddenly he was jolted out of his stupor by successive loud knocks on the door.
At first the innkeeper tried to ignore the knocks, but it quickly became
apparent that whoever was standing at the door was not about to leave. The
innkeeper wrapped himself in his robe and grumpily made his way to the front
door. He opened the door a crack but it was enough to fill his bones with a
cold numbness and a waft of the descending snow.
When the innkeeper looked out however, he
saw nothing but the cold night. He was about to slam the door in disgust when
he heard an anguished cry from below. He looked down to see a fellow lying face
down in the snow. The man barely lifted his head above the ground before he
screamed, “Please! Please! Help me! I am frostbitten and about to die!” Then
the man’s face dropped back into the freezing snow and he lay there listlessly.
The innkeeper quickly called one of his
children and together they lifted the freezing stranger into the house and onto
the couch next to the fire. They tended to him for the next hour, covering him
with blankets, and bringing him cup after cup of hot tea, until he had thawed
and warmed.
It is obvious that prior to carrying the
man into his home the innkeeper does not ask the frozen stranger how he will
pay him for all his hospitality. When any person with a conscience sees another
person in such a precarious state, he will do all he can to help without asking
hesitation.
Rabbi Sorotzkin explained that when we
approach G-d to supplicate for forgiveness, we are presenting ourselves in a state
of emergency. We assert that we have no merits to count on and, therefore, we
are in grave spiritual peril. Our only hope is to bang on G-d’s Door, as it
were, and hope for an emergency response.
In a similar vein, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach z’l
explained the words that we recite in selichos, “וסלחת
לעוננו כי רב הוא - Forgive our
sins for they are numerous.” If they are so numerous why should G-d forgive
them?
He explained, “Sometimes a person has to go
to the hospital. But when he gets there they tell him the doctors are busy so he
must wait. But what if he would say, ‘It’s an emergency; I cannot wait another
minute!’ Then, they would rush him in right away. So I am saying to G-d, ‘I am
an emergency! I cannot wait another minute!’ I am crying out, “Forgive our sins
for they are numerous; they are too much to bear. G-d, please help me
immediately!”
Why is it so important for us to view our
situation as being so desperate? What is the point of being so involved and so
harried with the whole process of repentance? Couldn’t we be forgiven without
the whole arduous ordeal? Why can’t G-d allow bygones to be bygones and wipe
our slates clean after we make a simple apology and declaration of regret?
At the root of most of our sins and
iniquities are feelings of hubris and self-centeredness. When man feels that he
is self sufficient he becomes sure of himself. When one becomes consumed with
himself to a certain extent, he deifies himself. He begins to feel a sense of
entitlement and he becomes smug with his accomplishments and successes.
On the other hand, when a person recognizes
his vulnerability and fragility he is humbled. That sense of humility allows
him to keep a proper perspective which, in turn, enables him to overcome his
nature which pines for self-aggrandizement and hedonistic pursuits. The humble
man never forgets that all of his triumphs and defeats are Divinely
orchestrated.
The process of repentance is not simply about
changing the past; indeed, bygones are bygones and we cannot alter what has already
occurred. The process of repentance is more about changing how we view
ourselves. It is about recapturing our focus and priorities which slip away in
the daily grind throughout the year.
The Hallel prayers that are recited during
the joyous holidays of the year are special prayers of thanksgiving and praise
to G-d. It seems strange therefore, that so much of those prayers seem to be
passionate pleas and petitions. “Please G-d, for I am Your servant; I am Your
servant the son of Your maidservant; open my bonds”; “From the straits I call
out to You, O G-d, You answer me with expansion, O G-d”; “Open for me the gates
of righteousness; I will come in them and I will thank G-d”; “Please G-d, save
now!”; “Please G-d, make successful now!” etc. Such fervent supplications seem
incongruous with the spirit of lauding and extolling G-d for His great Kindness,
Salvation, and Mercy?
The truth however, is that there is no
greater praise that one can relate to G-d than to acknowledge and admit his
helplessness and that - “I need You in every facet of my life!” Only when one
has come to that realization can he feel thankful for all the added favors and
goodness that G-d has heaped upon him. But as long as one feels that he only
needs to thank G-d for “the big stuff” then his hallel will be remiss and
lacking.
It is surely not for G-d’s sake that we
need to realize this. He is not effected one iota by anything we do. Rather, it
is for us! Man can only keep his natural narcissism and arrogance in check by
recognizing his fragility and feebleness.
This year, G-d helped us remember how
vulnerable we are and how volatile our situation is, with the war and fragile
state in Eretz Yisroel this past summer, and with growing Anti-Semitism in
Europe and even in America
The gemara[2]
teaches that any year
which is "poor" at the beginning will be rich and full of
blessing at the end. Rashi explains that ‘poor’ refers to Klal Yisroel
presenting themselves and beseeching mercy from G-d as if they were poor and
impoverished. That is the attitude we must maintain throughout these serious
days of mercy, introspection, and prayer. It is not a charade for it is indeed
the truth. We have no one to turn to except our Father in Heaven.
The
process of repentance is a process of humility, in which we reconnect ourselves
with G-d and remind ourselves how much He loves us and awaits our success.
“Rabbi
Akiva said: ‘Praiseworthy
are you O Israel Israel Israel
“Like the poor and impoverished do we knock
on Your door”
“Forgive our sins for they are numerous”
[1] Next year is a “Motzei Shemitte year”. Consider some
of the “Motzei Shemitta years” during the past seventy-five years: 1939 - Start
of WWII; 1967 - Six Day War; 1973 - Yom Kippur War; 1987 – the first intifada;
2001 (end of Shemitta) - attacks of September 11th; 2008 Stock
market’s precipitous drop, Fear of Iran Nuclear capabilities began
[2] Rosh
Hashnana 16b
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