STAM
TORAH
PARSHAS
CHAYEI SARA 5778
“YOUNG
AND OLD”[1]
It’s
pretty amazing that four of our children share birthdays. Two of them are
twins, so that’s not surprising. But Aviva and Avi were born on November 7th
three years to the day apart from each other.[2]
A
number of years ago we heard Aviva and Avi talking upstairs. At one point we
heard Aviva say to Avi, somewhat annoyedly, “Do you know what I got from my
third birthday?” When Avi replied that he didn’t, Aviva yelled,” YOU!”
Last
year, on 24
Cheshvan 5777, our family celebrated Aviva’s Bas
Mitzvah. Being that the day of her Bas Mitzvoh was Thanksgiving[3],
and Ashar[4]
had no classes, I picked
up Aviva from school at 10:15 am and we headed to Philadelphia. Weeks earlier,
I had made an appointment to meet with the Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky shlita, the
Philadelphia Rosh Yeshiva and one of the leading Torah personalities in
America, and his Rebbitzin, to receive their beracha in honor of Aviva’s Bas
Mitzvah (which would be that night – 24 Cheshvan). I wanted to have the
opportunity for Aviva to meet both of them, and we were privileged to have that
opportunity.
Along the way, we stopped Beth Israel Cemetery, which
is right off the Garden State Parkway, to daven at the kevarim of my father’s
parents. This included the kever of my grandmother after whom Aviva is named[5].
When we first arrived at the Kamenetky home, the
Rosh Yeshiva had not yet returned from yeshiva. The Rebbitzin sat us down on
the couch while she sat in a single chair. The Rebbitzin then spoke with Aviva
lovingly, yet firmly, about the responsibility of being a Bas Mitzvah, and the
nobility it entails. The Rebbitzin ended the conversation by saying, “Now that
you are a princess, you have to learn how to act like a princess. That is what
your teachers are all teaching you.”[6]
At that point the Rosh Yeshiva arrived home. He
took off his coat and hat, and sat down on the opposite sofa chair. He looked
at Aviva, “So you’re off from school today?” I explained that she had school,
but her principal agreed that her leaving was for a good reason, and allowed
her to leave early. With his trademark smile, Reb Shmuel asked Aviva, “How can
you have school on Thanksgiving!”
After speaking for a few minutes, I asked the Rosh
Yeshiva if he could share with Aviva a thought that she could remember from
him. He looked at her and said “You are our future! Listen to the chinuch you
are given; you are Klal Yisroel’s future!”
I then asked the Rosh Yeshiva if I could take a
picture of Aviva with the Rebbitzin, which she graciously agreed to. On our way
to the door, the Rebbitzin gave Aviva another beracha, including that she
should be a source of nachas to her family and to Hashem, and kissed her on the
forehead.
It was a beautiful and very special event, which I
hope Aviva will cherish for her entire life.
When I was thinking back to the meeting
afterwards, I was struck by the vitality and warmth of the Rebbitzin and the
Rosh Yeshiva. It is astounding that the Rosh Yeshiva is well past ninety,
although he seems decades younger. Their home was simple, with toys in the
corner for their grandchildren, and so welcoming. With their inviting smiles
and trademark humor, it is easy to forget that the Rosh Yeshiva and Rebbitzin
are two of the greatest inspirations in the Torah world today.
The Gemara[8] states: “What
is the coin of Avraham Avinu? (It had an image of) an elderly man and elderly woman
on one side, and (an image of) a young boy and girl on the other side.”
What was the
significance of those images and what was the connection to Avrohom Avinu?
The Yetev
Lev explains that when contrasting youth with old age, each has a unique
advantage over the other. One who has lived for many decades inevitably garners
experience and a keen understanding about the vagaries and challenges of life.
With age comes life experience and wisdom, and the ability to offer valuable
advice. However, he often no longer has the strength of youth to bring his
ideas to fruition. That lack of youthful vitality can sometimes cause elderly
people to become “frumpy and grumpy”, and difficult to be around.[9]
A young man on
the other hand, has vim, passion, and energy. He sets out to conquer the world,
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and feels nothing can stop him. His challenge is
that he lacks the wisdom and depth of understanding that comes with age, which helps
traverse and avoid the foibles and pitfalls of life.
One who is
able to have the advantages of both youth and advanced age, can accomplish
incredible things. He has the ambition and drive to pursue his idealistic
dreams and aspirations, yet has the wisdom to know what to be wary of, and how
to accomplish those worthy goals.
Avraham
Avinu and Sarah Imeinu had the advantages of youth and old age together. Even
when they were advanced in years, they still served Hashem with energy and
vigor.
Avrohom matched
his son Yitzchak's enthusiasm for Torah and mitzvos, although
Yitzchak was 100 years younger than him. Yitchak too learned from his father's
wisdom and followed in his footsteps, thereby earning him the advantages of old
age in addition to his youthfulness.
This is the significance
of Avraham's coins. On the one hand Avrohom and Sarah were elderly, in that
they were wise and experienced. Yet, at the same time, they were youthful, still
burning with passion and idealism for Hashem, bursting with energy to serve
Him, and teach others about Him.
This is the
meaning of the pasuk “And Avraham was old, coming with his days”. Despite the
fact that he was “old”, he still “came” grew and took advantage of his every
day.
The Medrash[10] relates that
Rebbe Akiva saw that his students were dozing off during his shiur. He wanted
to rouse them, so he asked them: “In what merit did Queen Esther reign over 127
states? In the merit of Sarah who lived for 127 years.”
Why does the
Midrash begin this insight by telling us how Rebbe Akiva's students were
falling asleep? What does this add to the message about Sarah and
Esther?
Based on the
idea of the Yitev Lev, the Nikolsburger Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Lebovitz, explained
that Rebbe Akiva didn’t just notice his students dozing off. He noticed that
they were losing their energy for learning. They were becoming "old"
and unenthusiastic. He wanted to revive their spirits and reignite their
youthful vitality. He pointed out to them that Esther reigned over 127
countries, in the merit of Sarah living 127 years. Rashi notes that when Sarah
was 100 years old, she was as wholesome and youthful as when she was seven
years old. Because Sarah served Hashem with youthful vigor her entire
life, Esther merited being the queen of a vast empire of 127 states. Rabbi
Akiva message to his students was that one must always be passionate and
youthful regarding his Avodas Hashem.
The Baal
Shem Tov was once asked why he pioneered a completely new concept in avodas
Hashem. He replied that he didn’t invent anything new. He had only reenergized
the dried-out bones of the Jewish people and infused them with a new spirit to
serve Hashem with joy and vigor.
During
selichos we daven “Do not forsake us at the time of old age.[11]” Why does
the pasuk says “at the time” of old age and not, “during our old age?”
The pasuk is
not referring merely to the time when we are truly old, but also to times when
we “feel old” – emotionally lethargic and spiritually listless. We daven that
Hashem not forsake us at any time when we begin to lose our youthful strength.
The final
Mishna in Kiddushin discusses the infinite value of Torah study: “Rabbi Nihorai
says: I put aside every trade in the world and I teach my son only Torah, for
man benefits from it in this world, and the principal remains for him in the
World to Come. But all other trades are not so. When a man becomes sick, old,
or afflicted and he cannot engage in his work he dies of starvation. But Torah
is not so; rather it guards him from all evil in his youth, and it provides him
with a future and hope in his old age.
“Regarding
his youth what does it say, ‘And those who hope in Hashem will renew their
strength’. Regarding his old age, what does it say? ‘Yet they will still be
fruitful in old age’. And likewise, it says regarding Avrohom Avinu, ‘And
Avraham was old, and Hashem blessed Avraham with everything’…”[12]
“And Avraham was old, coming
with his days”
“Yet they will still be
fruitful in old age”
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi, Kehillat New
Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance
Counselor – Heichal HaTorah
Principal – Ohr
Naftoli- New Windsor
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[1] Based on the
speech delivered at Kehillat New Hempstead, Shabbos morning, Parshas Chayei
Sara 5777
[2] This week, bh,
Aviva (officially) became a teenager, and Avi reached ‘double digits’. Boy,
time flies…
[3] Thursday,
November 24, 2016. In other words, her Bas
Mitzvoh was at sunset that evening
[4] Where I was a
Rebbe/Guidance Counselor at the time
[5] My
grandmother’s name was Shprintza. When she was born, our rebbe, Rav Chaim
Schabes, told us that Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky zt’l would say that one shouldn’t
give their child a name that is unusual in their circles. Shprintza actually
means hope. We named her Aviva, which means spring, as “hope springs eternal”
and spring is a time of rebirth and hope. Rabbi Schabes himself has a daughter
Aviva, named after someone named Shprintza.
[6] The Rebbitzin then said that she should learn halachos of ona’as
devorim. It is so important that we are careful with how we talk and what
we say to others, not to hurt their feelings, as that is an important component
of being a princess. She suggested that Aviva read the book “Word Power” by the
Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation, with a chavrusa.
[8] Bava Kamma 97b
[9] Rabbi Avigdor
Miller zt’l would speak about “the old folks sitting idle on the side of Ocean
Parkway, seemingly waiting for the Angel of Death to come get them.”
[11] Based on
Tehillim 71:9
[12] Our visit to the
Kamenestky home brought this idea to life. Truly, they are fruitful in their
old age. May Hashem grant them many more years, to continue to inspire Klal
Yisroel. May Aviva live up to her namesake as one who grants hope, with
youthful vitality throughout her life.
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